All posts tagged food

My birthday 2015

Published 09/13/2015 by MoonieZ

What’s another year…..

My birthday came and went. All the usual suspects showed up and some congratulated via Facebook. Some didn’t do anything at all. Just as every year.

I made the sandwich cake myself this year instead of buying one from the store. Just to show the world I can get things done – if I really want to.

I got a nice pair of shoes from my uncle, and a fine sweater from one of my cousins.My oldest brother brought flowers.  Not that I really need any presents at this age. Still nice that they made the effort to get me some things. The best was that they showed up.


Yesterday and today

Published 09/29/2013 by MoonieZ

Yesterday I was at my oldest brother for my nephew’s belated birthday  party.  It was a nice evening. Not so many people but good home-cooked hamburgers and fun conversation.

Today I’ve spent most of the day resting and relaxing. Been online for a bit to see a friend.  Spent some time reading and watching TV.  Listened to some music. Wrote some new updates for this blog.

Soon I’ll be having some dinner and then probably wash my hair and take a shower.  Maybe watch some more TV or a movie before going to sleep.

Tomorrow I’ll have to get up early.

Man in the mirror

Published 02/21/2013 by MoonieZ

Sorry, no pictures.

I have a feeling the headline might draw you in to read this. Don’t be alarmed if it seems random. That’s how most of my thinking works. If thinking is the right word for what goes on in my brain. Maybe sometimes.

Anyway, this update was born out of the horrific experience I had a few days ago when I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed a big blob with a head attached. This blob also had arms and legs. It looked human. Sort of. It looked like a man. Maybe. It looked like me. A  lot like me.

Could this be me? I mean, I know I’m 45 years old. I know I eat a lot of things I shouldn’t be eating. I also eat a lot. But seriously, I had no idea it was this bad.

Before you start saying I can do something about it instead of crying about it on my blog, let me tell you that doing something about it isn’t the point of this text that you’re reading right now. Ok?

So, let’s move on. There I was, looking at myself looking at me and not liking what I saw. Still, I knew I was looking at the result of decades of self-loathing and lack of confidence.  Decades of trying to satisfy the need for human interaction, intimacy and love with excessive amounts of all kinds of food and beverage. Without success. The only thing gained has been weight and more loathing.

At times I managed to break the circle just to fall back into it again after a certain amount of time. Old bad habits die hard.

What I’m trying to say is that even though my appearance in the mirror is a result of eating a lot of food, the process has never been about food or eating in itself but about trying to satisfy a lack of other things in life.

Solution: satisfy the feelings by finding humans to interact with, form friendships, perhaps someday find some love and intimacy somewhere out there.  Until then, eat less and more healthy if possible.

Not rocket science but sometimes not so easy to do just because it seems simple enough.

Anyway, I’m done.  I can’t remember what else I wanted to share about this experience as I forgot to write down the thoughts flying through my brain at the time.

Nope, I’m not getting into any negativity here.  Simply being honest about things. Still have the positive in mind.


Late in the evening

Published 10/22/2012 by MoonieZ

Been eating too much. I always do when I’m not feeling too happy about life or about myself.

Today has been such a depressing day. The weather was not too bad. Cloudy. Not the reason for feeling unhappy. In my previous update I made an effort to explain the whole issue but I probably didn’t make much sense.  Anyway, I’m not about to try making sense now. I said what was on my mind at the time.

Looking back on my weekend, it was ok. Friday was good. I had a nice time seeing a friend in a chatroom. Friday night was the night before her birthday, so it was a special occasion. Even though I almost missed the whole thing due to being asleep and not hearing my alarm. Somehow I did eventually manage to wake up and get to my computer. So Friday night and early Saturday was good. I slept a long time after all of that.

The rest of my Saturday was also rather good. I had a  visit by my nephew and his baby daughter. Spent the afternoon with them and with my mother.

In the evening I watched tv and listened to music. Probably spent some time reading tweets and looking at my Tumblr dashboard too. Went to sleep late, kind of slightly worried, then slept a really long time and woke up not really wanting to get up.  Weather was gloomy. A lot of rain. Didn’t go out for the whole day. Spent my time reading, watching movies, tweeting and listening to music.

Thought about writing something for the blog but didn’t like what I wrote. Then had a shower and washed my hair before going to sleep rather late. Had trouble falling asleep as I had too many thoughts running around in my mind.

Woke up this morning feeling not so great. Which brings me back to what I wrote earlier today so now I’m going to leave that subject behind. There’s nothing I can do to change anything anyway. What has been, has been. It’s history. I’m moving on.

Surely I understand that feeling depressed about this thing is making it into too big an issue. It all boils down to me and my reaction to things that don’t happen the way I expect them to. That’s all there is. I know I am probably better off not reacting the way I do but it’s too late, I have already reacted. I feel the way I do and I will feel that way until I stop feeling that way and start feeling something else.

Some new people started at the office today, but mostly it was business as usual over there. I spent my time reading and writing some stuff I had planned and then I went back home at the usual time.

At home after a long ride on crowded buses, I had a pizza which I heated in the oven. Then I should have stopped eating but I had some potato snacks and dip during the evening. I also drank a lot of iced tea.

Now, about a quarter to midnight, I will finish this little rant and go to sleep. I hope I will sleep better tonight. For some reason I just feel like leaving my depressed feeling behind. And all thoughts too. I hope I will.

When I return with the next update, I hope it will be something happy or at least different.



Published 07/14/2012 by MoonieZ

I like food. Everyone who knows me and have seen my full figure knows I like food. It shows. It’s very obvious.

What kind of food? The kind I should not like. The kind I should not eat a lot of. That’s the kind I like the most. Don’t get me wrong. I like lettuce too, just not on a daily basis.

I do like cheese, bread, meat, chicken, fish, vegetables and spices and combinations of them all.

Food, in my opinion, should be easy to cook and easy to eat. Also it should taste great. Be delicious. If not, I’m not eating it. Unless I’m forced to for some reason or another.

I like to cook. As long as it isn’t a too complicated dish. And as long as the recipe is short and to the point. The best cooking I know involves opening of tin and operation of microwave oven. No, not really. Seriously, the best cooking I know is the cooking done by others: like my mother or even better by my brother the chef (sorry, mom).

Sometimes I wish I could cook as good as they do but I know my limitations. I do not have the passion or motivation to spend that much time to learn and practice cooking. I wish I had but that’s not how I roll.

Same thing about baking. My mother grew up in a bakery, she is the daughter of a baker who in turn was the son of a baker. That means that what she doesn’t know about baking is not worth knowing.  I have learned what little I know about baking from her, obviously. Not that I do a lot of baking. Not that I know why I don’t.

What I know about food I learned from my mother but mostly from my brother the chef. Also I am and always have been curious about food from different parts of the world and wanted to sample various cuisines and dishes or food items that happen to come my way.  If any of my friends mention some food or recipe or anything food related that they like, I make a note of it and often try it out (if possible) to see if I like it too.

I read about food, I read recipes and I read about restaurants. Often look up restaurants online to look at the menu and find out what dishes I would like to try.  I also like photographs of cooking, dishes and food items.

When I go grocery shopping I almost always look for new items to try or at least I make a list in my mind of things I’d like to try later.

Having worked in grocery stores for many years, I have to admit to having a bit of an interest in how food is presented in stores and how the stores look and feel to the consumer. Also I am interested in how food is produced.  It all boils down to the passion for eating good food though. That’s where it all begins. For me, at least.

Not what I had in mind

Published 07/02/2012 by MoonieZ

This isn’t what I had in mind to write today, but the update I’m writing about spices and spicy food will have to wait. I’m not happy with how it turned out. Somehow I can’t seem to tell the story of that topic in a simple straight forward way. At least not today.

I know what I want to tell but I can’t get the words right. Will have to work on it some more and just let it sit for the moment. Maybe I’ll finish it after some editing or I might start over and write something else. Time will tell.

I’m feeling better again. Last week was, as I posted earlier, not anywhere near my best week ever, but every week can’t be great. Neither can every day.

When I got up this morning, I thought today was going to be another day filled with pain but luckily it wasn’t so bad.

Started with pain but it wasn’t as bad as yesterday and it went away after a few hours. Then it returned in the afternoon but not too bad then too.

After I got home, rested and had dinner I could actually get some work done around the house without being bothered by too much pain. Now I don’t feel any pain at all and I hope it remains that way until I go to sleep, which will be soon. I feel rather tired even though I slept well during last night. Suffering from pain is mentally exhausting though.

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