Evening! Or night. rather, as it is past midnight when this is written – or typed. Best to be honest, never know who might be reading this. That’s the beauty of a public blog. I never know who reads it or when or where they do it. Of course I know of some who reads it – the ones who lets me know about it by leaving comments or sends me tweets or email. But those aren’t that many, and I know I have some followers of this blog so I suppose they read it – at least from time to time. Then there are those who arrive at my blog at random, from all over the world. I never know who they are but I notice they have been here.
Funny, when I started back in the summer of 2005, I didn’t think anyone would bother to read anything here. Or at least not many and not a lot. In fact, I only started because of one person asking me if I was doing anything creative. She’s still around the internet, I still see her online from time to time. Probably I have written this before but I’ll do it once more just to say thanks for the inspiration to get me started. Who knows if I’d still be here typing almost nine years later if I had never entered that chat room over at that site and started talking.
Lately, I have found my blog to be lacking in good writing. I don’t post a lot, and when I do I find my texts to be short, shallow and mostly pointless parades of random words. Not like it used to be. Over the years I have published some very personal texts dealing with my life in many ways.
Dreams don’t come true if they’re not pursued. Dreaming it is not enough. You have to chase the dream. Catch it and make it real. I have just been dreaming my life away, never getting started. Probably my fear of failure is to blame, which means the only person I can point my finger at is me, myself and I. My fault. All my fault.
Never got going, never wanted it bad enough to run after it and risk not catching up to it. Rather just keep dreaming while time runs away.
Same story about almost everything. Like love. Don’t even get me started on that topic. Endless row of failures, of maybe I ought to but what if I fail type of moments.
Been chasing love in all the wrong places with all the wrong tools. In fact, have yet to figure out how to chase it down at all. How the damn game is played.
So, stuck at watching John Hughes old movies and let my thoughts shake hands with my memories of youth while my dreams of romance slips its damp hand into mine and takes me for a stroll in dreamland.
Yeah, at least there’s one genius in the family: my oldest nephew – the music video director. Below this text of mine you’ll find a new directing and editing effort of his.
So damn proud of him. When we grew up, he was like my little brother more than he was my nephew and I always knew he’d get where he wanted to go. Wouldn’t let anything stop him. Unlike me he seems to have managed his fears of failure, been courageous enough to keep on going no matter how long or how hard the road.
Veronica Maggio – Hela huset (ft. Håkan Hellström)