Well, Dad, 22 years has passed now without you around to help me. I never thought I would make it this far but here I am. Of course, Mom was a great help for 20 of those years, but now I’m going to have to make it on my own for the rest of my days.
You gave me a great start and I’m forever thankful for the years I got to share with you along with everything I learned from you. You are forever in my thoughts and I will always remember you and all that you did for us all – family, relatives and friends.
Today, May 15, would have been your 93rd birthday and I wanted to write this to express how much you mean to me and how much I miss you and most of all how much I love you, always.
You got to live your dream, so today I hope you take Mom with you and go for a nice flight since flying was your life.
Not to say you are old or anything and I won’t mention your age but I do want to wish you a wonderful birthday.
I know you don’t wish to keep in touch so this is not any attempt to get in touch again. Just happened to think of the times we shared and how much I value our friendship now that it isn’t active anymore. I will always remember it.
Anyway, to make a long story short,here’s a song from the old days:
My birthday came and went. All the usual suspects showed up and some congratulated via Facebook. Some didn’t do anything at all. Just as every year.
I made the sandwich cake myself this year instead of buying one from the store. Just to show the world I can get things done – if I really want to.
I got a nice pair of shoes from my uncle, and a fine sweater from one of my cousins.My oldest brother brought flowers. Not that I really need any presents at this age. Still nice that they made the effort to get me some things. The best was that they showed up.
Just when the time is right, I return once more to this deserted place in cyberspace. Couldn’t help myself, so you just have to accept this as it is. That’s all.
Alive, still. Life is a struggle but what are the options? I have to keep living. Have to? Yes, there’s no choice unless I kill myself but I haven’t the stomach for it. So I try. In the face of Yoda, I try. I should know there is no try but still I try. What else is there to do? I know, I know – do or do not. Had to throw that in there. Had to. For better or worse, the nerd in me got the best of me there.
I have had a few weeks at the new office by now. Not really happy with it. Not as good as the other one. The people are nice, at least nobody bothers me but I don’t feel at home there and I miss having the newsletter to work for, to write for. I miss the whole place. It was much more like a real job and the air was better. This new office is too warm, I can’t function in too warm places, my brain overheat.
The main thing is the things I work on now, to write, are not what I really want to do. But mostly I don’t like working on texts that will not reach any readers. To not have readers makes it pointless to make an effort to write anything at all. Still, I’m writing. Here and there, now and then. Trying to keep myself from going crazy. Nothing I can do. It is what it is.
The great TV show True Detective on HBO has finished its first season. I was glued to each episode, some of them I have watched more than once. Also the music has been fabulous. Now I only wait for Game of Thrones season 4 to start. I’m not sure it will be better than True Detective but I know I will be watching it all the same.
My mother turned 90 years old last week. The party was fun. A lot of family and friends gathered. Only the weather wasn’t so nice, so it was good the party was indoors.
Writing while waiting for the bus to leave. Been a long and not very exciting day so far.
Even though its my birthday I don’t think its a very special day.
However I appreciate all the nice greetings I have received from family and friends.
Relax, I’m talking about the weather. June was ok, July awesome and August has been amazing. Not at all like last summer when it rained every other day and some day in June was colder than Christmas or perhaps New Year’s Eve.
This year, after a really long snowy and mostly cold winter followed by a short spring, summer grew to become really wonderful. Just what this nation needed. Maybe all the sun and warm weather is the reason I haven’t been writing much on here. Maybe also the fact I haven’t had much to write about, but let’s stay on the positive side of things this time.
This week my brother the chef/drummer is coming to visit me. Been a year since last time so it’ll be nice to catch up on things.
A part from that, there’s not much going on. I’m still trying to find some work and I’m still spending my days at an office where I work on project that might help me find a real job.
Next month, I’ll be a year older again. Later in September, my oldest nephew turns 40 years old. Soon he’ll catch up with me. Anyway I’m really proud of him because he’s running his own business directing and producing music videos and other projects while also taking care of his baby daughter. From very early on he seems to have known what he wanted to do and then he simply followed his dream.
I wish I had some more of that kind of determination. However, I’ve never been able to really decide what I really want to do. I’m too easily distracted if I find something interesting while I’m already doing something else.
Last night I spent a few hours in a chatroom and enjoyed some nice conversation. Sometimes I’m amazed how things happen to turn out better than expected without any plan, just by random.
Most of my Tuesday I spent helping my mother when she celebrated her birthday. Many family members, relatives and friends gathered. All in all it was a very nice day and evening.
Only downside was the weather. Winter has returned and it’s been snowing a lot last few days. However, whenever the sun breaks through the clouds the snow melts and it feels warmer outside. Spring is delayed but on the way.
Yesterday I had a meeting at the office about new projects. Some ideas might turn into something good. At least worth a try.