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Shouldn’t, but will anyway

Published 05/03/2016 by MoonieZ

The best thing to do, would be not to write this but I’m not able to contain myself when some people just makes me want to express myself any way I can. The only way I know is in writing.
I had a stab at drawing comics & cartoons at one point in time when I was still in school but I already knew writing is my thing. Not that I think I’m any good, but I get by. And there are lots of stories unpublished from the times when I wrote fiction and not much else. Then I gave up on the fiction.
Except for a blog post or two.

Now I only spill my thoughts and feelings out. Here. This blog which I have kept going for 11 years next month. Without friends online it would never have started. Without friends online it would not have lasted this long.

So, I have to say that meeting new people online, wherever it happens, and how, is always inspiring the urge to write. Something. Anything.

However, my somewhat complicated communication skills make me doubt myself more often than not. The process of learning what comes naturally to most, is a challenge on a daily basis. Not going to dwell on that just now, though.

The reason I write this, is because I feel happy for the first time in a long time. Happy to have fun, happy to chat, happy to make jokes and play the clown or fool or court jester or whatever. Happy to be me. Happy to be alive.

Maybe it has to do with Spring coming around, the Sun being back. The warm weather. The light.

Whatever, in this case I know it to be all because of one individual. She’s a gem. At least that’s how I see it. Most likely because I feel good seeing it that way. It brings the joy of being alive back. Not when I expected it. But probably when I needed it. Anyway, I’m simply grateful for it happening.

Now I should take a chill pill and go to sleep. Due to my past, that course of action is the only sensible one. Readers of my blog will know that I have managed to go overboard on several occasions with disasters as a result.

Not this time. This time, I play my part and keep myself under wraps. Better for me, better for everyone.

So many words, so little meaning. Sorry, at least I’m being honest. I’m complicated. Only my own fault.

One friend used to tell me to not bash myself into the ground. Not only one but two friends told me that. I should not think less of myself. So now I try but I can’t say I don’t struggle with it all the time. So easy to fall into it. To feel like I’m of no use just because I stumble on the road of life, now and then.

What’s my point? No idea, but thanks for reading.

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A problem or not?

Published 08/24/2014 by MoonieZ

Too many selfies.  

Too many cat/dog pics in your feed.

Don’t post photos of your food.

Don’t tell us what you listen to.

Don’t reblog/re-tweet too often.

Do this, don’t do that.

Don’t be negative, don’t tell it like it is cause no one wants to hear it. Sugar coat it. 

Keep your feelings/thoughts  to yourself unless you are always happy and love the world around you.

No drama, ever.

Don’t tell the world you still live with your parents….if you’re above 18 years old.

What happened to live and let live? Allow everyone to be who they are or want to be, since I’m sure you’d like to have that right for yourself? Sometimes all this policing of how to be or not to be in the social media channels make me want to stop using any of them at all.

How about tolerance as a guide?

How about to simply unfollow the things you don’t like to see and/or read and let it be? Or block that account and be done.  Or in the very serious cases of suspected illegal, offensive stuff, report it, then block or unfollow.

Why keep posting about how others ought to change their ways of using social media in order to suit your taste?

I know, I’m doing the same thing now that I don’t like to see  others doing but I swear I won’t mention this topic again after this post (at least not for a while). Besides, nobody reads blogs anymore. Yesterday’s news.

Yes, I know I shouldn’t let any of this bother me, but I’m not perfect – I’m human.

Today I woke up in a slightly off mood.  Deal with it. Or not.  The choice is yours. Just don’t tell me I shouldn’t post it on my blog  because you think it’s not to your liking.

Sunday morning

Published 08/17/2014 by MoonieZ

Hi.

Woke up early but still it was almost too late.  However, the first activity this morning – after getting up and going to the computer to say hi to a new friend – was to engage in a relaxed but intense masturbation session.  It had been a while since I had a really good one so I made the best of the morning wood. Also helped to take my mind off of the awful headlines about attacks, violence, disasters, murder and war  filling my favorite news media sites. Decided to deal with them later.

The resulting orgasm was rather satisfying, even though I rarely take the time to analyze or rate the experience. I’m a guy, I don’t think much about the concept while I’m at it (or at all), I simply expect a certain amount of manual labor and manipulation of a certain part of my body to result in a climactic release of fluid. I leave the deep philosophic aspects of  the subject to humans of the female persuasion.

Then I had a cookie for breakfast.

Soon enough I was working my way through the timelines of my social media services: Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr while also keeping an eye at a cam chat site.  In the back of my mind a thought was lurking. a thought about writing this text you are now reading.  I used to write these more often but this year they have been mostly absent from my blog. The need to write has not been that great but maybe it has started to grow again.

Meanwhile the neighborhood was so quiet I imagined being the last living person on Earth. Then I thought, that idea has been done too many times, don’t go there. So I didn’t. Instead I thought about turning some music on, really loud, but decided against that idea. No reason to provoke the neighbors, never know how long they will want to pay the taxes that help pay for the small economic benefits I depend on for  my survival.

I ended up writing this text. That’s where my Sunday is at, at this very moment.  Now. if I could only find a way to finish this, so it can be posted while the Sunday is still around, I’d be happy.

That said, I think dinner time is approaching, so I’ll have to stop.

All about the people

Published 08/16/2014 by MoonieZ

Listen up, people – or better yet: read. I’ve got something to say.

Not long ago I thought I was more or less done doing certain things. Most of the fun had gone out of it. I didn’t feel the same need to be around a certain place. Except for the chance to see my few friends. I didn’t have the urge to participate at all. The time had come to close the door on the whole thing.

What I thought was the final nail in the lid of that coffin, turned out to be a start of something new and exciting. Somehow the fun has returned. Thanks to new people, I found my lust to take part again.

Even the old bad habit of staying up late and getting no sleep. However, I find I’m getting too old for that part.

In the words of the great poet John Fogerty:

[I’m] born again, there’s new grass on the field  

This leads me to the conclusion  that it’s all about the people you meet.

John Fogerty – Centerfield

Words at random

Published 01/18/2014 by MoonieZ

Evening! Or night. rather, as it is past midnight when this is written – or typed.  Best to be honest, never know who might be reading this. That’s the beauty of a public blog. I never know who reads it or when or where they do it. Of course I know of some who reads it  – the ones who lets me know about it by leaving comments or sends me tweets or email. But those aren’t that many, and I know I have some followers of this blog so I suppose they read it – at least from time to time. Then there are those who arrive at my blog at random, from all over the world. I never know who they are but I notice they have been here.

Funny, when I started back in the summer of 2005, I didn’t think anyone would bother to read anything here. Or at least not many and not a lot. In fact, I only started because of one person asking me if I was doing anything creative. She’s still around the internet, I still see her online from time to time. Probably I have written this before but I’ll do it once more just to say thanks for the inspiration to get me started. Who knows if I’d still be here typing almost nine years later if I had never entered that chat room over at that site and started talking.

Lately, I have found my blog to be lacking in good writing. I don’t post a lot, and when I do I find my texts to be short, shallow and mostly pointless parades of random words. Not like it used to be. Over the years I have published some very personal texts dealing with my life in many ways.

Dreams don’t come true if they’re not pursued. Dreaming it is not enough. You have to chase the dream. Catch it and make it real. I have just been dreaming my life away, never getting started. Probably my fear of failure is to blame, which means the only person I can point my finger at is me, myself and I. My fault. All my fault.

Never got going, never wanted it bad enough to run after it and risk not catching up to it. Rather just keep dreaming while time runs away.

Same story about almost everything.  Like love. Don’t even get me started on that topic. Endless row of failures, of maybe I ought to but what if I fail type of moments.

Been chasing love in all the wrong places with all the wrong tools. In fact, have yet to figure out how to chase it down at all. How the damn game is played.

So, stuck at watching John Hughes old movies and let my thoughts shake hands with my memories of youth while my dreams of romance slips its damp hand into mine and takes me for a stroll in dreamland.

Yeah, at least there’s one genius in the family: my oldest nephew – the music video director.  Below this text of mine you’ll find a new directing and editing effort of his.

So damn proud of him. When we grew up, he was like my little brother more than he was my nephew and I always knew he’d get where he wanted to go. Wouldn’t let anything stop him. Unlike me he seems to have managed his fears of failure, been courageous enough to keep on going no matter how long or how hard the road.

Veronica Maggio – Hela huset (ft. Håkan Hellström)

Never the less is more than enough

Published 10/05/2013 by MoonieZ

Confused? Let me tell you something, I didn’t do it. The other guy did it. What other guy? Ok, maybe it wasn’t the other guy but it could have been. I would like you to consider that option while I slowly and quietly exit through the backdoor and vanish into thin air.

With that all taken care of, I’ll return to the news.

Today being Saturday not much has happened in the life of Swedish Moon. In fact: nothing.

Nothing worth telling.

Woke up at a decent hour, after having a very vivid dream of being back at work while travelling somewhere out of the country. Then got up, made breakfast, listened to the radio.

Checked the internet and my Twitter for the latest news. Looked at some websites. Listened to music on Spotify. Checked Netflix for something to watch.
Went to the bathroom. Looked at porn videos. Masturbated. Scrolled through the Tumblr dashboard. Checked Facebook. Read some news online. Made a decision to go grocery shopping. Went by bus. Came back home. Opened a can of baked beans. Heated them on a plate in the microwave along with some leftover stuff. The resulting mess was my dinner. Not too bad. To drink: a glass of fresh plain water.
Returned to the net. Watched the new episode of Strike Back on HBO Nordic. Looked at MFC. Then tweeted. Checked Tumblr again. Listened to music. Went to watch some regular television for a while. Then back to the internet to write this among doing other things.
Soon I will probably fall asleep. Less than 50 minutes remain of my Saturday.

This wasn’t too boring, was it?

New coat of paint

Published 09/29/2013 by MoonieZ

Hello, it is I. Again.

Been a long time. I’ll tell you why. I had serious thoughts about closing this blog, or at least stop updating it. For a long time I felt I was done with it. Couldn’t think of what more to write. Didn’t want to write, even.

After all, eight years is a long time and the original reasons for doing this blog are  mostly no longer valid. But the real reason for not updating is boredom.

My life lately hasn’t been offering many thrills. I know I should make it happen but I haven’t been up for it.

When I have written something it has mostly been another take on old things already written here. Not much to publish.

Still, I intend to try to start over on this and make one last effort.  If I don’t make it, I’ll still be active elsewhere. Twitter, Tumblr and a bit of Instagram.