Chat room

All posts tagged Chat room

Words at random

Published 01/18/2014 by MoonieZ

Evening! Or night. rather, as it is past midnight when this is written – or typed.  Best to be honest, never know who might be reading this. That’s the beauty of a public blog. I never know who reads it or when or where they do it. Of course I know of some who reads it  – the ones who lets me know about it by leaving comments or sends me tweets or email. But those aren’t that many, and I know I have some followers of this blog so I suppose they read it – at least from time to time. Then there are those who arrive at my blog at random, from all over the world. I never know who they are but I notice they have been here.

Funny, when I started back in the summer of 2005, I didn’t think anyone would bother to read anything here. Or at least not many and not a lot. In fact, I only started because of one person asking me if I was doing anything creative. She’s still around the internet, I still see her online from time to time. Probably I have written this before but I’ll do it once more just to say thanks for the inspiration to get me started. Who knows if I’d still be here typing almost nine years later if I had never entered that chat room over at that site and started talking.

Lately, I have found my blog to be lacking in good writing. I don’t post a lot, and when I do I find my texts to be short, shallow and mostly pointless parades of random words. Not like it used to be. Over the years I have published some very personal texts dealing with my life in many ways.

Dreams don’t come true if they’re not pursued. Dreaming it is not enough. You have to chase the dream. Catch it and make it real. I have just been dreaming my life away, never getting started. Probably my fear of failure is to blame, which means the only person I can point my finger at is me, myself and I. My fault. All my fault.

Never got going, never wanted it bad enough to run after it and risk not catching up to it. Rather just keep dreaming while time runs away.

Same story about almost everything.  Like love. Don’t even get me started on that topic. Endless row of failures, of maybe I ought to but what if I fail type of moments.

Been chasing love in all the wrong places with all the wrong tools. In fact, have yet to figure out how to chase it down at all. How the damn game is played.

So, stuck at watching John Hughes old movies and let my thoughts shake hands with my memories of youth while my dreams of romance slips its damp hand into mine and takes me for a stroll in dreamland.

Yeah, at least there’s one genius in the family: my oldest nephew – the music video director.  Below this text of mine you’ll find a new directing and editing effort of his.

So damn proud of him. When we grew up, he was like my little brother more than he was my nephew and I always knew he’d get where he wanted to go. Wouldn’t let anything stop him. Unlike me he seems to have managed his fears of failure, been courageous enough to keep on going no matter how long or how hard the road.

Veronica Maggio – Hela huset (ft. Håkan Hellström)

My weekend report

Published 02/11/2013 by MoonieZ

My weekend started on Friday. I don’t remember much of it except the chatroom  I was in and the snow I had to shovel. The first was fun and the second was a boring chore that brought me an aching back and a lot of fresh air.  Oh, and I also travelled to the city and bought some clothes.

clothes

I slept kind of late on Saturday morning. Probably didn’t get up before 10 am. Read the morning paper, had breakfast. Then went out to shovel more snow. Also had some other chores but didn’t have the energy to really get much of it done.  Instead I had too much to eat and watched a lot of episodes of Sons of Anarchy on Netflix. During this, I also tweeted and checked  my Tumblr dashboard. Went out to shovel more snow later too if I’m not mistaken. Did I also stop by a chatroom on Saturday night? I can’t remember so I hope I’m not offending anyone. I was really sleepy once  I managed to get to bed.

Woke up late on Sunday morning. Had a nice dream probably but don’t remember much of it. Again, I had breakfast read the morning paper and then went out to shovel some snow. Starting to sound like a boring weekend by now.  I guess it was kind of ordinary.

Spent the afternoon watching the rest of the episodes of season one of Sons of Anarchy. Later, around dinner time, my oldest brother visited for a while.

In the evening, I had a long shower and washed my hair. Afterwards, I felt very refreshed. Continued to watch Netflix while also reading Twitter, tweeting and looking at Tumblr.

Went to sleep rather late and woke up around 5 am because I had to go pee. Then fell asleep again and woke up too late. Since the weather wasn’t too good, I decided to “work” at home and sent a message to the office about this before going out to shovel some snow and then going out to do some grocery shopping, pay some bills and other stuff.

The end.

Tuesday

Published 01/09/2013 by MoonieZ

Just another day. Ended a lot better than it started. Well, it started ok, so I’m not saying it was bad at all. Just a lot of snow to shovel away.  Then I did some other work and even later I had some dinner. Watched MasterChef on TV and then went out to shovel some snow again. Got back inside in time to have a nice chat with a friend.

So, all in all, my Tuesday has been good. Now there is only a few minutes left of it so there’s not much more to tell. Not if I want to publish this while it’s still Tuesday. Looks like I won’t make it.

I would if I had stopped typing in time but I didn’t. Only now. Anyway I’m too distracted to finish this right now.

 

Back

Published 10/23/2012 by MoonieZ

I’m back. To what? To feeling ok. I had to struggle to get back to that feeling. To get away from feeling sad and depressed.

On the other hand I wrote that I would feel the way I did until I wasn’t feeling that way anymore. Well, anymore is here.

There’s new grass on the field. Well, not new grass at this time of year perhaps but maybe enough left of the old grass to support a better feeling.

This morning I woke up after sleeping rather badly again. I had some belly ache and didn’t feel like getting up, but I did and I also got myself ready to go to the bus and I finally arrived on time at the office.

New people started today too. One more body in the small room I share with one other person. Sorry to say that new person had to witness how I got into an argument with the roomie about taxi cab fares. Then I was told I don’t talk, that I only talk to myself and that I’m ridiculous and mean.

So for a few hours I felt rather upset about this. I had only wanted to help with the taxi cab fare matter but perhaps I didn’t express myself too good due to being tired from not sleeping very well.

On twitter I almost made a fool of myself and said something stupid to a friend which I still feel bad about.

Anyway the day got better later on and by the time I went home I had a better feeling in my bones.

After dinner I rested and looked for a movie to watch. Then I went to a chatroom to talk to a friend and it was a nice few hours that really made my day a lot better. In fact, I now feel so good I am almost ashamed of all the words I’ve used for the last few days to tell the world about how depressed I felt. Notice I said ‘almost’.

I’m not going to excuse my feelings or regret sharing them. At least not all the time…

So what remains of my evening, I’ll be spending watching some movie or some tv and then I’ll be going to sleep.

All is well that ends well.

Sunday serenade

Published 08/05/2012 by MoonieZ

Right. Wrong.

Anyway. No way.

Ok, it seems yesterday I wrote a kind of confused and depressed update for this blog. Not as confused and depressed as the earlier stuff this week but close enough. I know I promised some changes a while ago. That I would only be doing happy and superficial updates from now on. Well, I’m not quite there yet so you shallow people who yearn for this will have to wait a while longer. I’m sorry but it’s the laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw of the land.

I woke up around 4am this morning. Wasn’t really all awake but it was too hot to sleep at that point, so what did I do? I checked some twitter timelines and sent a tweet. Then I kind of started to drift off to sleep again and next time I woke up at around 6am, I remembered having dreamed of chasing someones naked butt down along a sandy beach and finally falling on my face in the sand from exhaustion before waking up feeling like I had sand in my eyes.

Just because my dreams are weird doesn’t mean they didn’t happen. OK? Most of the time I don’t even remember them anyway.

Reading the Sunday edition of the morning paper after getting up made me choke on my ice tea (not that I was having any,  I just had to mention it for the effect).

An article pointed out that this nation’s fastest growing people’s movement is  – sex. The article claimed that sex talk is now such a common practice that it is not even controversial anymore. All kinds of everyday people want to educate themselves, discuss and try out sexual practices and buy sex toys.

I suddenly felt like a prude, because I have not once noticed this new movement. All I have noticed is the always increasing commercial use of sex in and shape or form to sell almost any kind of product or service, but this people’s movement of exploration and learning has passed me by.

Granted, I don’t socialize enough but I still think I should have heard or seen something. Anyway, after reading the article I had that old feeling of missing out. I often have this feeling. About a lot of things.

Then I thought I’d just go masturbate and be done with it.

I still haven’t though.  I’m at my computer. Writing. Just before I started typing this, I was in a chatroom but not typing, just looking and listening. Saw someone I don’t see a lot these days but used to see a few years ago. Only for a short time and just because I happened to be on the site this morning.

Before doing the above, I checked the latest headlines of the online newspaper site I most often visit. Just to check up on what’s going on in the country and in the world.

Then I also looked at my Twitter timeline again and wrote one tweet –  a morning greeting to my followers.

What I’ll be doing for the rest of my Sunday, I do not know yet. Probably, I will watch some broadcasts from the Olympic Games on TV and perhaps I’ll also watch a movie.

Most likely I will listen to music, maybe read or do some more writing. I think it will be a relaxing day though.

Right now, I’ll be busy doing some non-controversial wanking though.

Over and out.

Saturday sentiments

Published 08/04/2012 by MoonieZ

 

Hello, I’m back. Not that anyone missed my recent depressive ramblings on this blog but I’m still back to add some more words. Perhaps they will form sentences and even make some sense. It remains to be seen.

So, this is Saturday. The week leading up to this Saturday has been rather turbulent. No, I’m not talking about the weather – even though this week has offered both sunshine and thunderstorms – but my inner life. Thoughts and feelings have been taking a rollercoaster ride through the week. Right now I think they are somewhat calm and relaxed but this has not always been the case.

Instead of telling the story once more, I hope my readers will be kind enough to scroll down through the past posts and read them before wondering what I’m talking about.

The second part of the week helped to improve my somewhat low mood. Seeing a friend for a chat online helped and then it seems I managed to get back up from the basement again.

Also been watching some events from the Olympic Games and some movies. Mostly old ones like Body Double and Hardbodies but also a new one –  Battleship. None of them were good. One of them wasn’t even ok but they helped pass the time.

Worked out in the yard today. Later went to the store to get some groceries. Wanted to watch a beach volleyball game but missed it. Now watching an Olympic soccer game while  typing this update.

Have also been at  a chatroom during the afternoon.  Woke up rather early today, was too warm to sleep. Had some strange dreams but at least no nightmares.

Obviously I have no idea what to write next, so this text looks like a mess.

Might stop then.

 

Wednesday, 1 August, 2012

Published 08/01/2012 by MoonieZ

Today I have posted a lot of new texts on here. Why? I had a lot I needed to write in order to get it off my mind somewhat. I’ve felt depressed and tired and have had  a lot of thoughts running around in my brain.  Mostly, I think this was due to not sleeping more than 5 hours last night. Made me a bit cranky for the rest of the day. Then the visit to see a friend in a chatroom was good but I wasn’t happy with my effort to be a fun and supportive friend. I felt that I failed and it got me thinking too. Having a stomach pain didn’t really help to solve all of this in a good way so most of today I have been under the weather and my way of working my way out of that kind of stress is to write, think and write and let the feelings play out until I reach a point where I can move on.

I don’t always publish what I write on days like this, but today I decided to let it be public. Somehow, I think I have had a rather good feeling for so long now that a kind of backlash was almost inevitable. Sooner or later I always do it myself one way or another. Knock myself down, that is. Today was one of those days. Not that I knew it when I woke up at around 4 am but as the day progressed it became obvious.

Anyway, I’m starting to feel better and I’m returning to my regular old self. Today is another lesson learned in my ongoing quest to understand myself better, so I guess it has served some kind of purpose to feel miserable for the better part of the day.

Usually I’m able to keep my life free from dramatic gestures but now and then, I succumb to them. I guess I’m only human, despite my efforts to better myself.

So, I guess this covers everything.

What else to report from today? Not a lot.

Did some writing for my project at the office, watched some of the broadcasts from the Olympic games and rode three buses in order to get home. A normal day.  Weather was ok, not too warm, cloudy sky but no rain.

Had some leftover pasta for dinner. Was ok.  Later had a blueberry fruit drink with a friendly bacteria culture. Maybe it will help me get rid of the stomach pain. I already feel better so I hope it will do some good.

What I didn’t do today that I should have done: listen to music. Somehow I didn’t feel like listening to anything but perhaps I will this evening.

The change to my blog will have to wait another day or two but it will be done.

I did publish a story today that had nothing to do with anything. It just happened to appear in my brain so I wrote it that way. There may be a sequel coming, or some other story. Not sure what my imagination will present to me next. Always a surprise.

Now I believe I’m done for today.