Late in the evening

Published 10/22/2012 by MoonieZ

Been eating too much. I always do when I’m not feeling too happy about life or about myself.

Today has been such a depressing day. The weather was not too bad. Cloudy. Not the reason for feeling unhappy. In my previous update I made an effort to explain the whole issue but I probably didn’t make much sense.  Anyway, I’m not about to try making sense now. I said what was on my mind at the time.

Looking back on my weekend, it was ok. Friday was good. I had a nice time seeing a friend in a chatroom. Friday night was the night before her birthday, so it was a special occasion. Even though I almost missed the whole thing due to being asleep and not hearing my alarm. Somehow I did eventually manage to wake up and get to my computer. So Friday night and early Saturday was good. I slept a long time after all of that.

The rest of my Saturday was also rather good. I had a  visit by my nephew and his baby daughter. Spent the afternoon with them and with my mother.

In the evening I watched tv and listened to music. Probably spent some time reading tweets and looking at my Tumblr dashboard too. Went to sleep late, kind of slightly worried, then slept a really long time and woke up not really wanting to get up.  Weather was gloomy. A lot of rain. Didn’t go out for the whole day. Spent my time reading, watching movies, tweeting and listening to music.

Thought about writing something for the blog but didn’t like what I wrote. Then had a shower and washed my hair before going to sleep rather late. Had trouble falling asleep as I had too many thoughts running around in my mind.

Woke up this morning feeling not so great. Which brings me back to what I wrote earlier today so now I’m going to leave that subject behind. There’s nothing I can do to change anything anyway. What has been, has been. It’s history. I’m moving on.

Surely I understand that feeling depressed about this thing is making it into too big an issue. It all boils down to me and my reaction to things that don’t happen the way I expect them to. That’s all there is. I know I am probably better off not reacting the way I do but it’s too late, I have already reacted. I feel the way I do and I will feel that way until I stop feeling that way and start feeling something else.

Some new people started at the office today, but mostly it was business as usual over there. I spent my time reading and writing some stuff I had planned and then I went back home at the usual time.

At home after a long ride on crowded buses, I had a pizza which I heated in the oven. Then I should have stopped eating but I had some potato snacks and dip during the evening. I also drank a lot of iced tea.

Now, about a quarter to midnight, I will finish this little rant and go to sleep. I hope I will sleep better tonight. For some reason I just feel like leaving my depressed feeling behind. And all thoughts too. I hope I will.

When I return with the next update, I hope it will be something happy or at least different.

 

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