This morning I woke up early, around 6 am, and thought about how life was. How my life used to be. At the time when I had very few worries.
On an average weekend back then, I would wake up around 9 am, if I wasn’t working, when I would instead get up at around 7:30 am to have breakfast, get ready and dressed, grab my bike and go off to work around 8 am.
But on a weekend off, I’d get up, have breakfast while reading the morning paper and then after a few hours I’d get dressed and ready to walk down to the commuter train station and go to the city. Most of the time I would walk around, looking at things in the shops and perhaps go eat a late lunch or go see a movie before returning home in the evening.
At home, in the evenings, I would often watch movies on the VCR, or listen to music. I would also read a lot of books or magazines and write a lot of stories and such. Sometimes I played video games. It was a nice time.
During the week I’d go to work in the morning and get back home around 6:30 pm, have dinner and spend a few hours resting and relaxing doing much the same as described above. Of course I had chores to do then as well but I don’t remember them taking a lot of my time, I just did what needed to be done just as I do now.
All I really remember is that I liked my life. It was good. The people I worked with were mostly nice and friendly too. The few I didn’t get along so well with I still could tolerate and there were not much trouble of any kind.
Why think about this today? I don’t know. Today is a rainy day and life felt a bit boring and depressing so I thought about the old days. I guess I miss those days. Never thought I would back then. I thought I’d be living the same way for the rest of my life.
What I really miss is to belong to society. To be needed at a place of work. To be a part of something. To have my skills put to good use.
Anyway, as much as I miss it, looking back isn’t the way forward. I have to keep moving on. Someday, my life will be that good again.