Yes, I’m here. No, I’m not going away. Who told you that?
Anyway, let me welcome you all aboard this one way ride into oblivion. Please have your tickets ready. Boarding will commence at any moment. Unless you have special needs, you are required to accept your seating assignment.
Boarding will start with our first class readers. They will receive a free meal and a sleeping pill. Then we will start boarding the rest of you. You will not be given any options at all except the dubious pleasure of staying awake to the very end.
If you think I seemed angry in my last post, let me assure you that you do not have to believe everything I write. I’m not always being serious. Sometimes I try to be funny.
Sometimes that being funny doesn’t really come across the way I intended but nevertheless, funny is what it’s supposed to be. At least some kind of funny.
Maybe not your kind, but hey, I’m the writer here and what I say goes. Love it or leave it. Your choice.
This probably sounds rather harsh, so I think I’ll have to write something even more positive before I get stamped as being a very grumpy old fart. Not that it wouldn’t be true. I am in fact rather old and most of my life I’ve been asked why I’m so angry just because I seldom laugh or smile in public.
What was the topic again? What do you mean you don’t know? I should know? Well, I don’t know.
Doesn’t help. Not always. Thinking about it is sometimes only a way to make it worse.
What “it” is? It can be whatever you want it to be. That’s the beauty of this post, the text can be about anything you want. By writing it this way, everyone can read and think that this really relates to me when it really is a text that could relate to anyone or anything while at the same time not relate to anything at all.
However, writing a post like the one described above is a pretty pointless task. On the other hand, writing such a post is simple. All that needs to be done is to type one word after another and form sentences. The rest is easy.
If you, the reader, appreciate this kind of text is another matter. Maybe you will think of reading this as a waste of your valuable time and leave this blog in anger, never to return as long as you live. Or perhaps you will think that the author has gone bananas and need to be locked away at some remote mental institution. Either way, I win.
Why do I win, you all ask. Because, no matter what you think about this piece of writing I got you to read it all the way to the bitter end.
Comedian Louis C.K. performs for servicemembers at the Zone 6 Morale, Welfare and Recreation Stage during the Sergeant Major of the Army Hope and Freedom Tour 2008, Camp Arifjan Kuwait, Dec. 18, 2008. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Lately, I’ve been watching a lot of episodes of the show Louie (starring the comedian Louis CK).
Somehow I find myself laughing at situations and jokes I didn’t imagine I would ever find funny. Is this a sign my increasing immaturity or is it a sign of the opposite? I’m not sure. All I’m sure of is that I like the show.
Perhaps I like it because I can relate to it in some ways. Or rather in a lot of ways. The feelings of awkwardness, embarrassment and failure in dealing with members of the opposite sex being the most obvious.
What I can’t relate to at all is the almost constant swearing. However, I don’t mind listening to it, I just don’t do it myself. Not a lot. And at least not in front of other people.
Been listening to a lot of Warren Zevon songs at Spotify lately. I wonder why I never did find any of his music before, during the time I used to buy and listen to a lot of records. Sure, I heard about him covering some obscure Springsteen song but that was about all I knew for a long time. I also learned about his death from lung cancer through reading some newspaper but I didn’t check out his music. I had this idea it wasn’t my kind of music. Strange idea to have without ever listening to it but that’s the way it was.
Anyway I’ve found out I actually like Zevon’s music and lyrics a lot. There’s a lot of wit, irony, sarcasm and humor in them but not only. To me they sound real most of all.
When Spotify came along 2008 and since, I have been slowly discovering a lot of “new” music and artists I like through searching and exploring the tracks available through the streaming service.
Ok, so I had to find something to write in the headline space. That was just to stop you from asking who the eff is Will or what the eff is will?
Well I know what a will is and I have a will but I don’t know anyone named Will unless you count the guy at the supermarket who’s always yelling at somebody behind the scenes… Anyway I would really like to know.
No you would not. I can assure you right now. You. Do. Not. Want. To. Know. Who. or what Will is.
Ok, fine. You woke up on the wrong side this morning it seems. With that sunny attitude you could get a job at a burger joint.
Don’t make me laugh.
I wasn’t trying to.
Ok, ok – don’t yell at me I’ve got pretty good ears. In fact they’re so good I’ve had them insured. Do you want to know for how much?
NO! I want to get on with this update.
Thank you. This update will be about the will to survive when facing the most incredible dangers known to mankind.
I’m getting to that. Would you please shut up?
Thank you. Ok, back to business. These dangers are …Actually I don’t know what they are. I only came up with the word ‘will’ to have something to write. I do apologize for the inconvenience.
Doesn’t get any better. Well, I’m at it again. At what? Writing. You call this writing? Yes, why? This is not writing? Ok, what is it then? Typing. I see. And how do I know what to type? You don’t. Ok. I can see where this is going… No , you can’t. Why not? Because I am in control here. Really? Yes. I control what you type. Do you really? I do, I do! Ok, smart ass, tell me why I’m typing this and not that then. Because I told you to. Ok, when did you tell me? Just now. How did you tell me? I thought about it. You thought about it? Yes. That’s all it takes. I see. What are you thinking now then? What you typed. Really? Yes, really. I know it’s hard for someone without a brain to understand but that is exactly how I do it. Fine. Do happen to think of anything useful to for me to type? No, I prefer the meaningless sentences you usually produce. Thanks. Don’t mention it. I won’t. Wait a minute! I didn’t think that. You didn’t think what? What you just typed! What did I just type? You typed I won’t! So what? I didn’t think that! What? That! Ok, whatever. This post is ruined anyway, I might aswell start a new one.