Hey there, people

I’m SwedishMoon…

Yes I know, I had a Frank Zappa moment there for a second or two. Ain’t it funny how that one song is the one everyone seems to connect with Zappa when the man made so much great music? Not saying that song is bad but still, there is so much more music to the name Zappa.

Ok, that little rant is not the topic of this post. I just happened to think of it while typing the headline.

September is here again. Yes, I know it has been a week of it already but you see I haven’t been up to writing anything. As usual.  The times when I had to express myself every day of the year seem to have vanished. Now I’m happy if it happens once a month or even less. Besides, nobody reads blogs anymore anyway, right?

Well, I still read a few from time to time but to be honest I spend more time reading Twitter and Tumblr these days.  Even so, I like to keep this blog alive because I want to reach the 10 year mark next year. Also I’m still thinking of trying to make something more out of the texts I have published over the years. Will see where that leads.

At the new office place I’m at most of my days, I still struggle to find a meaning and a new project to work on. I am waiting for the election to be over so that things might change. With a new government things will change because policy is going to change.  If nothing happens, I’m not sure how much longer I can go on seeing my life go to waste.

Yes, I know if I want to see change I will have to be the change. Easy to say. I’ll tell you this: walk a year in my shoes then come back and say that again if you still think it is so easy.

Of course I’m still searching for employment. Not much else to do, if I wish to find something. No luck though.

My health is somewhat all over the map. Lately, I’ve been pretty good but it changes a lot. I know I would be better if I had been doing a real job for all these years instead of  only looking for jobs. The stress sometimes makes me feel like I don’t want to live but I usually fight that feeling. Many times I feel useless though. Forgotten by society and only considered as a statistic.

Thankful for the friends I still keep in touch with. Not sure I’d go on without you all.  Music and movies provide some relief and renewed energy, but mostly comfort and escape from reality. Same goes for TV shows.

Look, I managed to repeat myself again. Time to leave.

Peace out.

Coincidences

Not sure, but this evening I was riding the bus to do some grocery shopping and while on the bus I was thinking about writing a parody of The night before Christmas.  Then when I got home and checked my twitter I found out one  of my friends had posted a video of a reading of The night before Christmas. I’d say that’s pure coincidence. What else could it be?

With that very short story I leave you to it.

 

Never the less is more than enough

Confused? Let me tell you something, I didn’t do it. The other guy did it. What other guy? Ok, maybe it wasn’t the other guy but it could have been. I would like you to consider that option while I slowly and quietly exit through the backdoor and vanish into thin air.

With that all taken care of, I’ll return to the news.

Today being Saturday not much has happened in the life of Swedish Moon. In fact: nothing.

Nothing worth telling.

Woke up at a decent hour, after having a very vivid dream of being back at work while travelling somewhere out of the country. Then got up, made breakfast, listened to the radio.

Checked the internet and my Twitter for the latest news. Looked at some websites. Listened to music on Spotify. Checked Netflix for something to watch.
Went to the bathroom. Looked at porn videos. Masturbated. Scrolled through the Tumblr dashboard. Checked Facebook. Read some news online. Made a decision to go grocery shopping. Went by bus. Came back home. Opened a can of baked beans. Heated them on a plate in the microwave along with some leftover stuff. The resulting mess was my dinner. Not too bad. To drink: a glass of fresh plain water.
Returned to the net. Watched the new episode of Strike Back on HBO Nordic. Looked at MFC. Then tweeted. Checked Tumblr again. Listened to music. Went to watch some regular television for a while. Then back to the internet to write this among doing other things.
Soon I will probably fall asleep. Less than 50 minutes remain of my Saturday.

This wasn’t too boring, was it?

My weekend report

My weekend started on Friday. I don’t remember much of it except the chatroom  I was in and the snow I had to shovel. The first was fun and the second was a boring chore that brought me an aching back and a lot of fresh air.  Oh, and I also travelled to the city and bought some clothes.

I slept kind of late on Saturday morning. Probably didn’t get up before 10 am. Read the morning paper, had breakfast. Then went out to shovel more snow. Also had some other chores but didn’t have the energy to really get much of it done.  Instead I had too much to eat and watched a lot of episodes of Sons of Anarchy on Netflix. During this, I also tweeted and checked  my Tumblr dashboard. Went out to shovel more snow later too if I’m not mistaken. Did I also stop by a chatroom on Saturday night? I can’t remember so I hope I’m not offending anyone. I was really sleepy once  I managed to get to bed.

Woke up late on Sunday morning. Had a nice dream probably but don’t remember much of it. Again, I had breakfast read the morning paper and then went out to shovel some snow. Starting to sound like a boring weekend by now.  I guess it was kind of ordinary.

Spent the afternoon watching the rest of the episodes of season one of Sons of Anarchy. Later, around dinner time, my oldest brother visited for a while.

In the evening, I had a long shower and washed my hair. Afterwards, I felt very refreshed. Continued to watch Netflix while also reading Twitter, tweeting and looking at Tumblr.

Went to sleep rather late and woke up around 5 am because I had to go pee. Then fell asleep again and woke up too late. Since the weather wasn’t too good, I decided to “work” at home and sent a message to the office about this before going out to shovel some snow and then going out to do some grocery shopping, pay some bills and other stuff.

The end.

Thinking about things

This week I have had some ideas for things to write but I haven’t taken the time to write any of them. I have a good excuse: I have had a cold. In fact , I still have a bit of a could. For some days and nights I have been bothered by a most irritating cough and also suffered from the very dry and cold air outside. Luckily the cold weather is now mostly gone and so is the coughing and suffering. However, the cough made me sleep very poorly for too many nights which in turn has made me somewhat exhausted and cranky.  I’m only now, today, starting to feel like my normal jolly old self again so if I have offended anyone due to my cranky mood I do apologize most sincerely.

Wasn’t going to make any blog update today, or yesterday, but here I am. Got nothing else to do except going to sleep which I will soon do, as soon as this is finished. Not that my weekend is bad, it’s just not very exciting.

I’m mostly just watching movies or TV, listening to music and eating. From time to time I also check my Twitter and Tumblr.  That’s about all.  I haven’t even masturbated more than once this whole week but I think that is due to the cold and coughing and that I will be back to my regular schedule soon enough. What is my regular schedule then? I don’t know. I don’t decide such things in advance. However, I’d say my usual schedule would be once every other day at least. Or whenever I’m in the mood.

Business at the office has been as usual this week. I’ve made some progress on some things, and been fairly efficient as far as I know.

The rest of the things I will return to at some other time.

 

Don’t let it snow no more

I hope that it won’t.  Not for the next few days at least.

Ok, I know I’ve been quiet a long time on this blog. I have been busy getting my internet connection and speed repaired. It’s still not all done but at least good enough to let me type this quick update.

Been a busy time in other ways too ,the last few weeks. Somehow I managed to write some on Twitter now and then but this blog I have neglected.

My stay at the office has been extended for another year, which is good. I like it there enough to want to stay. And I have a project to work on when I’m not busy looking for jobs.

The unemployment rate is rising in Sweden so the future doesn’t look good but I keep trying and trying some more.

The neverending snowing is not helping to keep my mood in a good way but at least all the shoveling keeps me busy and it probably “builds character” too. Not that I know in what way.

Be that as it may. The weather can’t be reasoned with, it will just keep on going. No matter what.

In order to survive I read, listen to music and watch some movies or TV shows. And I do some writing. Still have that long text I promised to publish waiting to be finished.

Don’t worry, it will be. Maybe not before the end of the year but it will be published here.

What else? Well, without my friends to talk to from time to time I would not survive.

 

Working on it

Still working on the major update I have already advertised both here and on Twitter.

The text will be long and I’m thinking about cutting it up into more than one post in order to make it easier to read and perhaps also easier to understand.

The subject I’m trying to deal with is very personal to me so it takes time to find the right words. There are also a lot of memories involved and it takes time to sort them out.

I only want to assure my readers I’m still going to publish the text once I have finished it. I’m sorry to keep you all waiting.

 

Back

I’m back. To what? To feeling ok. I had to struggle to get back to that feeling. To get away from feeling sad and depressed.

On the other hand I wrote that I would feel the way I did until I wasn’t feeling that way anymore. Well, anymore is here.

There’s new grass on the field. Well, not new grass at this time of year perhaps but maybe enough left of the old grass to support a better feeling.

This morning I woke up after sleeping rather badly again. I had some belly ache and didn’t feel like getting up, but I did and I also got myself ready to go to the bus and I finally arrived on time at the office.

New people started today too. One more body in the small room I share with one other person. Sorry to say that new person had to witness how I got into an argument with the roomie about taxi cab fares. Then I was told I don’t talk, that I only talk to myself and that I’m ridiculous and mean.

So for a few hours I felt rather upset about this. I had only wanted to help with the taxi cab fare matter but perhaps I didn’t express myself too good due to being tired from not sleeping very well.

On twitter I almost made a fool of myself and said something stupid to a friend which I still feel bad about.

Anyway the day got better later on and by the time I went home I had a better feeling in my bones.

After dinner I rested and looked for a movie to watch. Then I went to a chatroom to talk to a friend and it was a nice few hours that really made my day a lot better. In fact, I now feel so good I am almost ashamed of all the words I’ve used for the last few days to tell the world about how depressed I felt. Notice I said ‘almost’.

I’m not going to excuse my feelings or regret sharing them. At least not all the time…

So what remains of my evening, I’ll be spending watching some movie or some tv and then I’ll be going to sleep.

All is well that ends well.

Monday musing

Back from the darkness of my latest nightmare. Not that bad, but each post requires a new opening, or not?

The weekend came and went and I came a few times. I have this toy I use sometimes when I don’t feel like it’s too much work. Yet after using it, I was once more reminded why I mostly can’t be bothered. However it was a nice feeling while it lasted.

What else? Let’s see. I watched some movies, TV-series episodes and listened to some music. Slept a lot. Had too much candy to eat. Only because I found some cheap Jelly babies at the local supermarket and could not stop myself from buying a lot of them.

I will have to avoid that place for a while or I will not be able to control myself.

What else. Well I visited my oldest nephew on his birthday, yesterday. Mostly everyone focused on his daughter because she is still not even a year old and of course completely adorable.

The cake was really good. Other than that it was a birthday like most other birthdays. I talked to my nephew about my blog project for a bit. A nice afternoon.

I helped my mother with her medication after the eye surgery. She is very happy to be able to see clearly again.

What else. I talked to some friends on Twitter a little.

Also looked at Tumblr and reblogged some stuff.

 

Back to business

 

Ok, I didn’t die. I just had a few days of really bad pain. However it goes away eventually and I’m back to my normal self again.

Only downside to this experience, was that I could not fully enjoy my brother the chef’s brief visit to my town this weekend.

I was not in my best mood and it was hard for me to help out because I was weak from having been in pain and felt ill for more than two days.

Still, I got to enjoy his cooking yesterday, when he cooked most of the dinner we had together with my oldest brother and his wife and our  mother.

Mom made an apple pie from homegrown apples that was a simply delicious end to a very fine meal.

Our uncle and one of my cousins also visited briefly on Sunday to say hello to my brother and have the book about the life and times of Kal P Dal signed by my brother for a friend of theirs who is a big fan.

Sunday was a busy day, even if it was mostly also a very nice day.

Saturday was the day my brother arrived, as I have already reported in my previous post. It wasn’t a great day. I was rather cranky from the pain and didn’t have enough energy to be a good host. Mostly I wanted to rest and relax but  as I had guests I could not rest as much as I needed.

There were  some stress and arguments as a result of this but luckily the day passed rather quickly and ended in a good way.

On Friday the weather was really bad and I mostly rested and had a lot of pain from early morning to late at night. I was ready to go see the doctor but in the end I didn’t see myself sitting in an emergency room all of Friday afternoon waiting to be examined and then sent home with some pills or something. As that is what always happened before when I’ve seen a doctor about something.

After having these pains come and go for some time now, I’ve learned that they go away and that they don’t get worse even if the level of pain sometimes is very hard to handle. I would be more worried if the pain kept growing stronger and/or never ended.

The strange thing is that I’ve become so used to being in pain during parts of my day that I’m almost surprised when I don’t feel it. Almost to the point that I ask myself what’s wrong, I can’t feel any pain right now?

It all started on Thursday when I was helping my mother with her visit to the doctor in preparation for her eye surgery. That afternoon and night were really bad in terms of pain.

But enough about this now. This post was supposed to be about my weekend and not about pain and suffering.

What more is there to report? Well I saw some friends online this weekend and it was all good because it helped me find my good mood and made me feel a lot better about everything. The same goes for my friends on Twitter.

I would probably survive without the online world but my life would be a lot more dull.