Well I saw a lot of smiles today. Just had to make that my last post of the day, to share that observation with you, dear readers.
I saw a lot of smiles yesterday too. This good feeling I don’t know what to do with. Best would be if I could save it for the times I really could need to feel good instead of bad or depressed.
Today I learned I can control my emotions with my thoughts. I have a choice how to feel about things that happen or what people say. Something I had not known before, or rather I knew about it but I didn’t think it works. Today I noticed it does. I decided to feel good and be myself no matter what and it worked.
So I guess my writing suffers from my good feelings. If I’m not feeling like mud I can’t be creative it seems. This might cause a problem. What will happen to my blog if I keep on feeling good ?
See there’s a question for you all to chew on. While I sleep and dream of …. someone.
Over and Out!
This is a first in the history of this blog. I’ve actually never had a letter from a reader before. Actually, I have never known for sure I have any readers. So, here it is, the first letter.
Why don’t you just go away and leave us all in peace?
Sid N. Idout
Well Sid, I’d be more than happy to go away but if I did I’m sure I’d have to go back again. So, I’ll stay. But thanks for writing in to let me know what you think.
Hi, it’s me. Again.
I know, you thought I would have had enough after last nights avalanche of new posts. But no, I have had a good night sleeping and now I can see that my emotional reaction yesterday was a bit over the top. A lot over the top. As a matter of fact it was all overboard. Totally bananas and no cherry or cream. Not even icecream.
Just a big I-scream….
Today, another glorious Monday in the Corps of Mondays that make up a lifetime, I am rested and ready to take on the world. Whatever it has to offer.
I am waiting to get the answer from the company I want to work for. I am sure the waiting affected my mood yesterday. The interview went ok. I think the person doing it was more nervous, probably because he was younger and maybe he thought I cared about that. But I only care about if people know what they are doing. Or not.
Anyway the weather today is not the best. Rather cloudy and not very warm. Winter is going to make one last stab at us before spring takes command for good. Or so it seems. There is even talk of snow. Imagine that. People seem surprised to have snow in the winter like it is something out of the ordinary. It was only a few years ago when no snow was out of the ordinary in March in my part of the world.
The final note for this post. I need to calm down and not judge myself too hard. After all I am probably the only one who cares too much about what I say and do, or not, anyway.
Why can’t I just relax and be calm.
Over and Out!
Well I feel like I have to write this now.
And if anyone thinks this is rather pointless because it means nothing to the random reader I can only say: this is my life. It has a meaning for me, but not always for the rest of the world…
Over and Out!
So, another year passed. What did I learn ? How fast a life can fall apart for one thing. Being out of work for over a year now, makes my life a living nightmare. I have only one wish for the new year: to find a job, fast. All else is nothing.
Socially it is not good to be out of a job. Economically it is a disaster. But hey, at least I have plenty of time to worry and complain about my ruined life. So one should always look upon the bright side of life I guess.
Anyway. I turned 40 last year, and I guess that was the single event that really meant something to me. Now I’m soon over the hill and after that it’s all downhill to the bottom of the grave.
No snow yet this strange winter. It is just dark and wet most of the time. I’ve been gaining weight again just as I do ever year around this time. But I try to keep it in check. I don’t want to go back to where I’ve been ever again.
Otherwise I spend time reading and watching films on dvd. And also buying far too many dvd’s. But I am a collector and I have to collect something more than bills.
So finally, a Happy New Year 2008 for everyone ! May all your dreams come true !
Over & Out !
…and what have I learned ?
That everything changes and yet it stays the same.
Nothing new. Nothing happening.
I feel like giving up on everything.
The world can go about its business as much as it always has, I don’t mind. Just leave me out of it.
I’ve had my share.
My cup is full. I don’t need a refill, not during this lifetime.
I wonder if there will ever be another lifetime to make right all the wrongs from this one, I doubt I will be that lucky.
Anyway, here I can open the door to all those thoughts that I keep hiding in the everyday life. Here I can admit that every time I listen to Bruce Springsteen singing “Walk Like a Man”, I have to cry. Somehow I have the feeling that song is about me and my father and not about the singer and his father. Very strange idea.
I can’t avoid to cry anyway. Mostly it feels like something is broken. But I don’t know what. I just know the feeling.
Over and Out !
Holiday started this week, and also the warm weather came. Almost too hot to go out at all during the day. +35 C is a lot around here in the north. But soon the snow will be back. And the darkness.
I haven’t had much to do, I have just spent a few days resting and relaxing to get some energy back after a long winter and spring filled with work and more work and all other things I have had to deal with. Now I just look forward to a nice and calm holiday. It will not be as I had planned and dreamed of a few months ago but I hope it will be good anyway.
I had a plan I would be on my way to Prague or some other nice place on my holiday but after everything that happened with my friend, I have put those plans away.
So I will hang around Stockholm and enjoy summer in Sweden. Maybe get some writing done on some papers I have left to do for my studies and then maybe I will go visit my brother. I haven’t made any plans at all.
Today I wish the United States of America a really nice Independence Day and hope all my American friends will have a great day and a happy summer.
Over and Out !