Today was not the best day ever. Last night I got some trouble sleeping. I keep worrying about things that haven’t happened and about the future in general. Can’t stop worrying. Sometimes I keep it at bay, mostly during the days. Nights are worse. Also have a lot of very strange dreams and some scary nightmares. I’m tired of being me, living this life. Tired of never getting anywhere. Tired of waiting for things.
I started painting. It has been fun. And it makes me stop thinking and worrying for a while. Still it can’t really change much.
Lately the weather has been great. But I feel like I have no energy. Doing things always feel too tiring. Hard to get started. Not much is fun. Wish I had someone to really talk to but have no idea who that would be.
How much longer am I supposed to walk through life all by myself?