Christmas is upon us

Published 12/22/2017 by MoonieZ

Run! Run! If you want to live!

Ok, maybe not that bad. However, Christmas is here and with it are all the past Christmases – whether good, bad or indifferent. This will be my third Christmas without any of my parents, and it feels strange. Still.

You’d think the first one would be the worst but that one was the easiest since the idea of never seeing my parents again had not fully dawned on me yet. Oh, Mom will be here next Christmas, was the subconscious thought I had.

Last Christmas was kind of worse and this one, after having moved away from everything I’ve known and loved will be worse yet. All I can do is move on though, there is no going back.

I have almost no decorations at home, and no tree. Ever since my father passed we stopped having a Christmas tree and I will continue that tradition. Also I have no room for a tree in my small apartment.

What I do have are all the memories of the way it used to be. Lots of people, good food, presents, decorations, tree and Christmas music.

But, also how stressed out and tired my parents used to be around that time. Especially my mother who had all the cooking and baking to do from early December and all the way through Christmas. She hardly had time to rest and now when I look back I feel a bit guilty for not helping out more. On the other hand, she liked to bake and to cook and I’m sure she wouldn’t have wanted anyone else to do it.

Dad’s job was to get the tree. Usually he got it from the woods surrounding the airbase where he worked. It was a bit of a thrill to go tree hunting with him when I was a kid. He made it out to be a bit dangerous but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t at all. Just became more fun that way.

Of course Dad did other chores too around the house for Christmas but somehow I got the feeling Mom always had a lot more to do. This can be because I was usually around my mother more than my father so I probably never noticed all the things he did.

No matter what I remember or how it actually was, it’s all history now.

I just know I liked Christmas a lot better then.

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