Looking back

Published 08/24/2016 by MoonieZ

to see the future. No.

Regrets? None. Not anything I done but things I haven’t done or didn’t do. What else is there to regret?

I did what I did and I’m happy with my choices. Most of them. Some I could have done better, but regret? No.

It comes and it goes the feeling of meaning or the lack of it. Yet the sun rises and then sets and one day gives way for the next and most beings don’t even reflect about the inevitable end we all race towards. 30 years ago I didn’t care much about the end. It seemed it was so far away it didn’t even count. Now – I don’t want to look forward. I feel like my time is running faster than I can live it. When I look back, I wonder where it all went. What did I do with all this time, all these years of days followed by days.

Next year I’ll be 50. With very little to show for it. Not for lack of trying but for lack of understanding how the world works. For many years also a lack of understanding of how I work.

And now it feels like too late to keep on trying. Go on living is all there is.

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