I do. Wonder, that is. Not that I do wonders, but I do wonder. About a lot of things.
When something grabs my attention, I often want to know all there is to know, and I don’t have time for anything else until I do know everything. Then, I often find myself much less interested, or at least that is how it seems to me.
One part curiosity and one part ASD. Being very interested in one thing at a time, wanting to learn as much as possible about it, is a common trait for individuals with ASD. I know that now. For a very long time I didn’t know why I suddenly had to learn everything about certain topics. To the point of obsession. Now that I know why, I still behave the same way, but now I understand it and can explain it to the people around me.
But that’s not the reason I’m here today.
I need to write some, in order to unload my brain so that I can sleep better. Last night I slept but it was hard to let go of the thoughts running around in my brain.
Often I tend to over think a lot. Maybe because having ASD makes me think a lot all the time about a lot of things that other people can do automatically without thinking about how to do it every step of the way.
Whatever the reason, I couldn’t stop thinking even though it was a fruitless operation at that time, so now I decided to write even if I should be doing other things.
Yesterday was a kind of surprising day. It was the 13th, which usually means bad luck, but for me it was a lucky, happy day. And a confusing one as well.
It started with some words that surprised me and also made me happy but soon got my brain to overload with thoughts. I spent the day thinking. Not that I reached any conclusions. Later on, in the evening, I looked through some old DVDs I had stored data on almost a decade ago and to my surprise I found some backup copies of music CDs I thought I had lost. So the rest of the evening and into the night I listened to that music and continued thinking. Until I fell asleep around 2 in the morning.