You got time to kill, you say.
Wrong, I say. Time can’t be killed. Time kills you.
I’m wrong? I doubt it. I see time killing every day. When I look in my mirror.
What a way to welcome back May. The only way. Been a year. What a year.
A year ago my “work” ended at the last place I was at. Due to my depression and suicide thoughts. Mostly it ended because the place didn’t want to be responsible if I would suddenly jump out a window or harm myself or someone else around there. No problem, I have forgiven them.
After a long time of waiting, I got the Employment Agency to start looking into giving me some more help. After I got my ASD diagnosis earlier this year, I was supposed to get to start at a place of work. But so far nothing has happened. I have asked why more than once but all I get is that they will look into the case. Also new people keep taking over my case.
Anyway, today is the first day of the beautiful month of May. May was my mother’s name. It feels strange to not have her around. So I celebrate her memory by thinking of her throughout the month. Also, the 15th of May is my father’s birthday. He would have been 92 this year, the same age as my mother.
The other day I felt very sad thinking about how much I miss my parents. Then I decided to start getting my life back on track, as it would be the best way to honor their memory. Not by sitting around feeling helpless, even if that feels “better” sometimes.
So far I haven’t done much but I take it step by step.