So the Summer refuses to warm up. Instead it offers chills, clouds and rain. I guess you can’t always get what you want.
Same goes for my life. It offers very little to be happy about but at least it isn’t all depressing. My present “work” is, though.
Since I had to leave the nice place I had been at for three years and start a new place, I haven’t been very happy about much. There is no real structure to that new place. Everyone is doing their own thing every day and its hard to find the drive to keep on going without any clear framework to hold everything in place. I have an official project to work on but no deadline and in fact it is already more or less a finished project, but I still have to kind of pretend to be working on it. Most of my time I divide between job hunting and reading about the job market or topics related to things I’m interested in – like politics, food. cooking, television, history, books, movies and music.
I miss what I used to do and where I used to be, so much.
In a way everything about these government projects for the unemployed are on hold awaiting the outcome of the general election in September. There might be a change of policy if the current parties in power are replaced by some of the opposing parties.
Outside of this “work” I find myself having little energy to do much of anything. I used to be able to do things around the house but not so much now. Still, I know have to do some things but they leave me exhausted more than ever before. I also had a certain momentum this past Winter to exercise more but after I changed places of “work”, I have lost that drive too. Probably I suffer from depression without really wanting to admit it. Maybe I ought to get some treatment for it even. Just that it scares me to even talk about mental problems. I’m afraid of the whole concept and also about how some people around me will react to it. They already think I’m lazy because I take longer to do things I used to do fast and easy and that I seem to lack interest and motivation to do much of anything. Nobody seems to think I might actually be depressed or that it could be a reason behind my lack of energy.
Enough of the negative things.
Positive? What would those be these days? Some time to sleep. Some time to enjoy some television. movies and music. Time to be outdoors and relax. Good food. A few friends to talk to from time to time. That’s it.
This blog is now more than 9 years old. I know I have been mostly quiet lately and I doubt I will be more active unless something unexpected happens – like a new real job – or that I suddenly fall madly in love with the right person and find the feelings to be mutual.