Yes, I’m here. No, I’m not going away. Who told you that?
Anyway, let me welcome you all aboard this one way ride into oblivion. Please have your tickets ready. Boarding will commence at any moment. Unless you have special needs, you are required to accept your seating assignment.
Boarding will start with our first class readers. They will receive a free meal and a sleeping pill. Then we will start boarding the rest of you. You will not be given any options at all except the dubious pleasure of staying awake to the very end.