I need to write. i don’t know what and I don’t know why. I only know I need to write. Anything. Everything. Something.
A few days ago I had a really good idea for some writing. Didn’t write it down. Now, I can’t remember more than bits and pieces of it. So I can’t write it. But I need to write. Solution: I write this.
Also, I keep fighting the urge to write about negative feelings, thoughts and things in my life. I have always written about all the failures and pains. Over and over. No matter how many times I write about them they remain the same. Unchanged. Carved in stone. Forever a part of my life, of my history. So I try to not write about them again.
That makes it hard to know what to write, but I still need to write.
Positive. Yes, there are some and I can write about them. Only, when I do, I fear that they will disappear. So I avoid it.
Same goes for the people who make me happy. If I write too much about them, I fear they will go away. Find me too needy of their positive influence. But I struggle on with my doubts and my needs.
What else is there, anyway?