Yesterday, I started writing an update for this blog, but I didn’t finish it or publish it. Why? I didn’t like it. Wasn’t good enough.
I had trouble sleeping last night. Something was keeping me awake, thinking.
The thought about how I do things and hope they will be a certain way or result in something good and then when nothing happens, I feel like I failed. It depresses me.
Maybe in this case, I’m wrong to think of it as a failure, because I did what I wanted to do and everything was good except the final result did not happen. Yet. So in a way it failed anyway, but mostly in my mind.
Shouldn’t let it trouble me as it is such a small matter but when you make plans and want to do good and it ends in nothing, you may feel somewhat disappointed for a moment. On the other hand, it’s not anyones fault, just something that happens sometimes.
Things don’t always go exactly as planned and it can still be good in the end. So, I just have to let it go and move on.
And I also have to keep in mind why I did it. Not for me or my selfish satisfaction, but for the happiness of somebody else. So, if they are happy with it, then all is well anyway.
Yet, I still had trouble sleeping and felt sad and like a failure. Would be stupid to deny that.
“Allow yourself to feel uncomfortable for a while, especially if you’re thinking about things that cannot be changed,” is what my horoscope for today says, and for once it’s right on the money. That’s how I feel today.