Hello, it’s early morning March 1.
I hope you are not asleep because this is my first post this month. Of course this post just might put you to sleep but that’s another matter.
I woke up at 4am for no reason and happened to see I had missed seeing a friend who was online. For a minute or two I thought about going back to sleep or if I should check if my friend would still be on. Finally I got up and walked over to my computer to check. Luckily I wasn’t totally too late. Even more luckily I don’t have to go to the office today and tomorrow it’s closed so I have a long weekend even if I still have things to do so I’m not actually off for two days, only for one but it’s still good.
This week has not been too good until today. I’ve had a lot of pain and problems and been feeling rather depressed for many reasons. Sometimes the reality of my situation gets the better of me. And everything else that has gone wrong or seems to go wrong does not make me any less sad.
I’m feeling used up and lost. Broken. Nothing really matters anymore. I mostly have nightmares and sometimes even my daydreams turn out bad. I worry and I can’t find any peace or happiness. Well, nobody likes to hear about this so I won’t dwell on it too long.
Maybe it will change, maybe I can make it change. Time will tell.
Right now I’m at least glad I’ve had some fun seeing a friend.