Silly. I feel silly. Last few days I’ve been feeling all kinds of weird. I should shut up and get a grip. Instead I’m all over the map and not even sure why. Some kind of crisis I think it is. Been a lot of problems lately and then there’s my lack of self confidence on top. I manage to trick myself into thinking nobody likes me and that I’m a worthless piece of scum. I should know better. In the end I think it all boils down to me being scared. Afraid of everything. Funny thing is I thought I had gotten over it. I wish I was different. Better. Somebody else. Easy to like. Easygoing and funny. Not this grumpy old hermit I’ve allowed myself to become. Oh well, this will pass too. I just wish I could stop getting into this kind of state somehow. Makes me so sad and makes me say so much I regret.
Or perhaps this is as good as it gets. So I just have to deal with it.