I’ve slept on it.
Sunday was not a fun day. I was not feeling happy. I was not smiling. I was not having a good time.
I felt really sad and only wanted to escape the pain. But I let it have its run through me and this morning I woke up feeling a bit better. However as soon as I woke up I remembered why I was feeling the way I do. While sleeping I had been away in a very pleasant dream. I don’t remember the dream but I remember I felt happy while it lasted.
I didn’t want to get up and get ready, but I forced myself out of bed and got going.
At the office I didn’t produce much of value because my mind and my feelings were elsewhere most of the time. I wanted to get writing done but couldn’t focus on the work to be done.
Still, I could focus on writing for my blog.
It seems my best writing comes out of misery, pain, sadness and suffering – so perhaps I should always feel sad in order to produce good writing. At least here. Only problem is I don’t wan’t to feel that way. I want to be happy and smiling. When I feel happy I don’t write very good but then I’ll just have to work harder or let it all be.
I was out for dinner with my mother yesterday and it was nice. Made me feel a bit less sad.
The past had its good times but today I reminded myself it also had plenty of bad times, even if I still miss the past times because I had more going for me then. Or so it seems looking back.
Anyway, I will get through this feeling and get back on track again eventually. Nothing lasts forever. All I can do is keep on being me. For better or worse.