Missing the long lost days. Missing you being around. Missing you sending me a text about whatever you were doing or thinking. Missing the happy feeling of when the phone would vibrate in my pocket while I was waiting for a train to go home from another long day at work. Missing my smile when I read your words. Missing the good feeling of replying to your message knowing it would make you smile too.
Did those days really happen? They seem to belong to another life, another time and even to another me. Anyway, I miss them. Sometimes a little, sometimes not, and sometimes a lot.
Coming home. Starting the pc and logging in to the site knowing you’ll be there and that hours of chat are ahead and waiting to be spent. Hours of fun and laughter but also serious conversation about what’s going on with you and with me. Sometimes there were even arguments and anger ending in tears.
Sometimes it wasn’t at one of the sites you used to be on, sometimes it was messenger. Sometimes it was emails, sometimes a postcard or a letter and sometimes nothing at all.
It’s been hard to let go of all that. Knowing time has passed and our ways have separated more and more like I thought they never would. Like you thought they never would. In my mind you are still the same and the memory of what used to be will always be fond. Holding on to what used to be is useless so I’ve let it go.
Only some days I wish I could do it all over again. Be the me I used to be. And that you would be the you you used to be. When times were different.