Hello, I’m still here.
Looking at another Sunday morning. Woke up feeling I had missed something or somebody but found out I probably had not. Still, I did think of someone I wish I didn’t have to miss. Yet I did and do. Strange how feelings come and go and thoughts go around in circles.
Strange how the fear of loss is so strong sometimes that it actually feels like loss has occured when it hasn’t. Fear is not a nice feeling. I’ve been stopped by fear a lot. I’ve been consumed by fear too many times when I should have been brave but not able to find the ounce of courage needed to beat fear. Many things could have been different if I had had more courage and less fear. However, the past is behind me and thinking about what could have been serves no purpose. It is the way it is. That’s what I have to deal with.
There is someone special I would do almost anything for and yet I know it might not be enough. Still, I push on. Clinging to hope and to my dreams. Yet knowing I live in a real world where luck has proved many times over its not a friend of mine. Still, I hope for a little good luck yet.
Still, I wish for good luck for others. I can go without any luck at all as long as those I care about have plenty of good luck.
I woke up from a dream to find myself alone. It didn’t feel too good. I looked at the time and tried to close my eyes and find that dream again and the feeling I had while dreaming. Tried to see who was with me in my dream. Wanted to hold on to that person while hugging my blanket. It didn’t really work, so I decided to get up for a while. Check out the internet and perhaps write something. And this is it.
I’m sorry if this post makes no sense to you, my readers, I still had to write it. Perhaps it will make sense to some. Maybe only to those who dare to dream.
In dreams…in beautiful dreams