I’m truly sorry I haven’t been updating this blog as often as I should. My resolution for the new year to post at least once every day of the year has already failed. I managed only a month and a half. Well sometimes things happen that makes that kind of promise less important to keep. When personal matters are at hand others will have to stand back.
The last month or two has been filled with very little sleep for the most part. A lot of time spent in front of a computer and also a lot of time spent waiting. Waiting for that special person to appear. To not risk missing a moment of it, I’ve been awake almost around the clock for weeks. I guess some would call it commitment and others, probably most people, would call it obsession. Anyway these times of around the clock online time are coming to an end.
As of Tuesday next week – 1st of March – I will be starting a “job” or at least something that looks like a job which is supposed to keep me occupied just like a regular job would. This means the end to sleeping only 3-4 hours at night. This means getting up, getting ready and getting going early in the morning.
So it’s the end of a very nice time in my life. Will have to adjust to seeing a lot less of my friend. Maybe it will be for the better. These last months have been very intense. Perhaps too intense even. I don’t know, but in the long run it might be better not to spend so much time online even if there will be a bit of pain in adjusting to another schedule. Knowing I’ll be missing out on a lot of fun brings me almost to my knees before it has even happened but I guess that’s only to be expected.
I had no idea I’d feel this way. Even if I knew from the start I wanted to spend more time with this person it did take a little while before I felt like I wanted to be around all the time. Then for a few months last fall I couldn’t and all that time was a kind of emotional torture. I hated to be absent because I liked so much to be present. When I finally could again I felt very happy. Now, I know that this time of “work” that awaits me will last forever – or until I find a regular, real, job – which means I have no end to look forward to. This that starts on Tuesday is what it will be like for years to come. I’ll have to accept it and move on.
However, I also think it might be good get into some kind of “normal” life again. Have a set daily schedule and get things done. Not that things haven’t gotten done now, but they have been done at slightly odd hours of the day and night sometimes. I managed to see my friends online while I still had a regular job for many years so I don’t worry about that part. Only problem now is the different time zones. I didn’t have that problem when my friends were all Europeans and living in the same time zone. Now I’ll have to figure out how to make the most of the time I will have available. More of quality instead of quantity I guess it will be. Might be all for the better. Who knows. I intend to make it as good as it can be.
Things will work out one way or another though, of that I’m sure. They always have before so I presume they always will.
Spring is coming. It does not look like it is right now, but the daylight hours are adding up and soon there’ll be more light than dark. The snow will melt and the cold winds will get warmer. The whole country will change appearance and so will the people. I like spring, I like summer even more. Too short they always are. Only a few months, but I love how my country looks and smells during that time. Above all I love the nordic light. Nothing like it anywhere else. But I’m digressing.
My Thursday was rather boring. Nothing much got done. Nothing much happened. Not until the late evening. I made a video – a sort of tribute as it turned out. I had some fun tweeting. A brief chat. That sort of thing. Also some hours of sleep here and there. In the end it all seemed like a dream. I am sure I was awake though. As sure as one can be these days. Maybe it was all a part of the The Matrix …
My Friday is off to a productive start. I’ve been working on things I have needed to do a long time ago. Today they’re all getting done. Thinking if I should frame a few more photos I got recently or if I should let them remain unframed. Decisions, decisions.
Had a nice early dinner. Pasta and sauce.
Later went for a drive. Filled up some gas cause the meter was showing red. Gas price is insane lately. Almost takes the joy out of driving. Went to the grocery store. Picked up stuff for my mother and got some for myself as well. Had some potato chip snacks, tzatziki and some Italian salami while watching TV and tweeting at the same time.
Felt really tired early on and went to bed at around 8pm. Woke up and got up again at 1:35 am. Been at Twitter a lot since then while also trying to finish this post. Looks like it is nearly finished now. I can’t find much more to add to it.