Time for some public venting. Not the first time and certainly not the last.
Sometimes when I need to use words the most I fail to find the right ones. Or I use the wrong ones, or too many of them, or even not enough of them. My efforts to express myself become cramped.
Lately, I feel I’m probably not writing enough or more likely too much but not with enough clarity to make enough sense. Just look at this confused post. If anyone understands what I’m trying to say with it, please let me know.
Seriously. I have stretched myself too thin. Not sleeping enough, not getting enough fresh air or exercise. Too caught up with thoughts and worries about things happening, the future, my life and about friends. The pressure of having to find a job and not having much luck with it. The stress of knowing I’ll be poor for many years to come if not a miracle happens. On the other hand to not care about my situation or about people around me is not who I am.
So what can I do except try to balance myself and take a deep breath and keep from taking everything, including myself, too seriously? Laugh a bit more, have some distance and perspective. Could work. Has worked before. A simple thing like writing this also helps.
Setting lower standards would be good but that seems to be the hardest thing to do because I always manage to make simple things complicated. Then I feel miserable and want to run away from myself because I fail to reach my high standards.
Think positive. Be happy for the little things. The good things. Don’t worry, be happy… Anyway perhaps I should dig out my copy of A Confederacy of Dunces and read it again. Might help me find a new perspective.