To be on cam – a confession

Published 01/12/2009 by MoonieZ

Right, I am on cam. I do not only watch other cams. Being on cam at the community was very exciting the first half-dozen times. Being naked on cam was also very exciting about five times after that. However, after noticing nobody watched, and especially noticing none of the people I hoped would watch was watching made me put my clothes back on turn off my cam and become a full-time prude.

Ok, maybe I still go on cam from time to time, but these days not without being dressed and mostly I go on cam looking bored silly or perhaps just confused. I might smile, I might scratch my head – the one located above my shoulders – and I might be wearing big black headphones so that I can enjoy my music while I sit in front of my cam looking at other people looking. They all seem to have so much fun and enjoy whatever they are doing at the moment.

I have fun too, even when I look like I am not. Basically I don’t look like I have fun because I rarely smile. I rarely smile in my daily life also, but it doesn’t mean I’m always in a bad mood or bored or both. This is just how I am. Sure, being in the retail business made me have to smile sometimes because customers expect it, but I also got the question many times: are you sad, are you angry. So, I know the rule in all social interactions is simple: Smile or be ready to explain yourself constantly. The same goes for drinking alcohol: say no to a drink of any alcoholic beverage and be ready to explain why you don’t drink, ever.

My question is what happened to the freedom of being yourself, and to the freedom of choice. The individual freedom everyone wants for themselves but apparently can’t grant their fellow humans if they make other choices, too strange choices. What I am going for is tolerance. I see less and less of it in these individual freedom times we are supposedly living in. Sure you still have a choice but be careful what you choose. The majority rules, as always.

Ok, now by writing this I might be accused of whining,  but so what. These are my opinions and this is my blog. Nobody is forced to read anything I write and is certainly not assumed to agree with any of my opinions, or even expected to.

Where was I ? Yes, it was a post about me being on cam. Well I think I have told most of that story now. But if you see me on cam somewhere after reading this you might know why I don’t often smile.


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