…spent dreaming instead of doing. So much time spent looking, instead of acting. Well I used to be better at doing something about things instead of just wish for things to happen, but lately, after one thing after another going wrong, I am afraid to even try to do something, afraid it will all fall apart and leave me feeling even more miserable than the last time. Yet there are people out there I would like to get to know a little but I don’t even have the nerve to say hello. It is like all the years spent learning how to strike up a conversation has blown away and left no impression on me. Feels like I must start over again.
Anyway when she smiles – I just wish she’d know how I simply melt away, how my being is filled with joy and how grateful I feel to be able to see that smile. I think I must be real loser to sit here and write these posts instead of doing something real but right now I don’t have the courage. Which is pathetic. However I will go to sleep with the memory of her smile and that makes me feel good.