I really like being able to embed songs from Spotify in my blog posts. Makes sharing and discussing music much easier. No longer have to look for YouTube links in order to share my favorite songs.
Sonny Landreth has been a favorite ever since I first heard him play on some records by Beausoleil back in the late 1980′s. Then I picked up his album Outward Bound and happened to see him perform live as the opening act for Southside Johnny & The Asbury Jukes at a small club in Stockholm 1992.
OK. Time to take a deep breath and relax. I’ve been like a wreck for two days now, more or less. What started it I’m not sure of. Some small reminder of low self-esteem or something. The usual suspects. Last week I was feeling so good about life. Actually, I went into the weekend feeling good about most things except some small problems I have yet to solve. Then I don’t know what happened. I let myself run wild with imagination and fear. My old faults came back to haunt me once more. Thinking about it today I see how I have been this way before and how I manage to behave so much like a child. I like to see myself in control of my feelings and my thoughts. Someone who thinks before speaking but these past days I’ve been both silently sad and angry and also speaking my mind without thought. Now I most of all wish I could go back and change everything for the better. I also wish I could learn to not do this again and again. I also wish I could stop taking myself so seriously. I wish I was better at everything to do with other people, but I can’t seem to learn. Somehow I think I’m fine and then I fall down again and have to start over.
Probably I’m in the wrong place looking for the wrong things instead of just enjoying myself. I was reading about it at a forum last evening. Before I thought that idea was wrong but now I’m beginning to see that I’ve been wrong and that idea is the right way to handle it. My approach from the start wasn’t what it might seem like but I allowed it to become what it shouldn’t have and I know that is a part of my problem. However being who I am and feeling the way I do I can’t change just because I can see its wrong in this situation. Too late to rewind the tape and start over. What I can do and must really try to do better is to deal with it in a responsible and sensible manner from now on. No more of this foolishness. I have promised myself this before and I’ve not been able to keep it but I will do my best once more.
What makes me sad is that this probably won’t make any sense to anyone except me but I really don’t know how to describe it in a better way. All I really want is to put my sadness behind me along with my depressive state of mind and return to my normal way of being. I like myself better that way but I know my dark feelings and thoughts are also a part of who I am. Only not the big part and not the part I want others to see. Makes no sense.
How about I stop whining and pity myself and start looking out instead of in? Good idea, I think I will do that. Maybe I’ll be able to smile and be of some good for somebody instead.
Trust. That seems to be hard to learn to do. I have to learn, I thought I had but I prove to myself time and time again that I haven’t.
Peace out.
I had a look back at what I posted on this date last year. Seems I made three posts. The first one was about what I did that day, a Saturday. Seems I didn’t do much of anything except hanging out at home and online. The second post was a video from YouTube featuring The Axis of Awesome performing their famous Four Chord Song. The third one was a post about Ry Cooder‘s music which included links to two videos from YouTube.
I have to admit I don’t use YouTube as much as used to. I still look at videos of songs on there but not often and only if I can’t find a certain song on Spotify. Sometimes when I’m bored I do look at other types of videos at YouTube or when some friend or celeb has posted a clip they want to share.
Bruce Springsteen – Evacuation of the West
Early Springsteen at his very best. I love this track.
The Eagles, Jackson Browne & Linda Ronstadt – Take It Easy
Jackson Browne – Alive In The World
Have liked this song and all the other songs on the album Looking East since first listening to it back in the mid-1990′s. Thought it was time to post a favorite song of mine again.
Jeff Bridges – What A Little Bit Of Love Can Do
Live version
From the new album by Jeff Bridges. I first heard it this morning and it became an instant favorite song. Also liked this one a lot.
Jeff Bridges – Maybe I Missed The Point
Southside Johnny & The Asbury Jukes – Lead Me On
A perfect song that expresses some feelings I can relate to.
That was last night as a matter of fact. I got home early from the office and after a few hours I went back out to get some groceries in order to be able to cook dinner. Well, I used the old electric grill to grill some hamburgers out on the back porch. Even though it was raining. Another cold and cloudy day and night.
Spent the evening at the computer. Listened to music, looked at YouTube clips, tweeted and posted on Tumblr. Also looked at my MFC profile page and sometimes even had one eye on the cams streaming video. Late in the evening around 11 pm I must have fallen asleep for a while because next time I looked at the time it was past midnight.
I usually go to sleep before midnight. Even before 11 pm most evenings but this evening was different. I was waiting for a friend to go online at an MFC chatroom after having been away for some time. However it turned out her internet went down so nothing came of it. I waited as long as I could while I still managed to stay awake but around 4 am I finally went to sleep and then slept about 4 hours, woke up and checked to see if I had missed anything. Turned out not a lot so I tried to fall asleep again but only for about two hours, then I got up and checked the sites again before breakfast and reading the morning paper.
As usual on Saturdays I would be taking my mother to the church to put fresh flowers on my father’s grave. But that would be in the afternoon.
Before that I had time to take care of some personal business and I won’t get further into the details of that right now because I’m going to return to the subject in an upcoming post. If I’m not too shy to write it.
A Camp – Love Has Left The Room
One of my favorite Swedish bands. This is simply a beautiful performance of a beautiful song.
