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Monday is a fine day

Published 05/28/2012 by MoonieZ

Yes, indeed. I wake up. I get ready. I go to the office and I check my Twitter and notice I’m unfollowed and blocked by someone I  recently tweeted to. Find out I’m also unfollowed on Tumblr by the same person. Not sure this has ever happened to me before.

Sure, I’ve been unfollowed before. That happens from time to time. Usually I’m unfollowed by people I don’t know who suddenly start following me on Twitter and/or Tumblr and then stop after some time. I suspect the reason to be that I don’t follow back or that I don’t tweet them or that they find they don’t like my tweets or whatever.

When someone I know unfollows me, it’s a bit different. So far it hasn’t happened more than a few times and both times by the same person. First time I was given a reason, this time it seems I didn’t get a reason for being both unfollowed and blocked so I guess all that remains for me is to move on.

I could of course dwell on this and ponder the reasons this person might have but that wouldn’t be very constructive as it would only be speculation and not fact. So, I leave this matter as it stands and move on.

Generally speaking I do know that my tweeting and tumblr-ing can’t please everyone all the time and it’s not my goal to please anyone. My reason for using Twitter and Tumblr is to express myself and interact with others.  I have unfollowed people too but most of the time I do it after being unfollowed by them. I also block accounts sometimes but only if I strongly suspect them to be fake/spammers and such.

Ok, enough of this stuff.

Today I hope I will do some productive writing and other work and also have a fine day in as many ways as possible.

Something new?

Published 05/02/2012 by MoonieZ

I’ve been thinking. Thinking. Should I update or not? Should I really put my ass on the line again, just for the satisfaction of reading my words on this blog once more? Sometimes, I can’t decide if it’s worth it or not. Sometimes I think I have nothing more to say about anything to anyone at all.

It was like that the other night. I was in a chat room having a nice chat with my beautiful friend, laughing and having a good time, when suddenly it hit me: I have no idea what more to say, no idea at all. Of course I didn’t stop typing just because I didn’t know what more to say. Instead I kept on typing and somehow words came out that made some kind of sense, had a meaning and kept the convo going. I was happy to have gotten through without falling silent.

The next day I started thinking about writing an update for this blog. I had some ideas, I even had one text all worked out in the back of my head but when I thought about writing it I got second thoughts and cold feet and suddenly didn’t feel like writing it. Or anything else.

The day after was the same. The thought came: it’s time to update and then the next thought was: I don’t want to. Not now, not today. I do have ideas but I don’t feel like sharing them anymore.  So I did something else. Looked at Tumblr dashboard, read tweets and listened to music. Also watched some sort of fancy Danish porn movie: All About Anna but without much interest. After some more thinking I decided to go to sleep. Still without updating.

I woke up this morning and knew that today I would have to update this blog – somehow. The show must go on. That’s just the way it is. Some things will never change.

However, I still feel a lot of resistance even as I’m writing this. A voice in my head tells me to not do this. To not finish it. To not publish it. But, I will publish. Have I done this much writing I will not throw it out, I will publish it no matter what I think. So, this is why this update is the way it is. No secrets, no lies. Only words.

Snowy Saturday, 2012

Published 04/14/2012 by MoonieZ

Yes, I’m back.

This Saturday I woke up around 10:24 am, after having gone to sleep at around 7:00 am. Needless to say I didn’t plan to stay awake all night. It just happened to be that way because a friend was online and I couldn’t pass on a night of fun.

When I looked out my window this morning I wanted to go straight bacck to bed though. The world was all white, covered in snow.  Heavy, wet snow.  Yet I did rise and had my breakfast. Made my way out through the snow to the mailbox to collect the Saturday morning paper. Read it.

Then had some rest for a few hours before having some food in time for the afternoon hockey game broadcast to start on TV. Watched the exciting game and then had some more food before going out to shovel some more snow away from the driveway.

The evening I’m spending listening to music on Spotify. reading tweets, looking at my Tumblr dashboard and writing this update.  Probably it will be another long night of fun also.

If the weather is better tomorrow I hope to be able to get out and do some shopping.

Easter Saturday, 2012

Published 04/07/2012 by MoonieZ

Hello people!

Taking some time away from things I ought to do to bring you this update. Perhaps it will be a waste of your time or perhaps not. Nobody knows for sure.

The weather today is sunny but the winds are cold and there’s still some snow on the ground. However its a lot better than yesterday. I didn’t go out at all.

Today I will probably have to as there are some things I have to buy for the Easter dinner to be complete. Also I want to get out and get some air and a bit of sun.

My pains are somewhat mysterious but I’ve been able to conclude they are not caused by kidney stones. What the cause is I haven’t figured out but since the pain comes and goes and isn’t getting any worse or more frequent I’m guessing it’s not a sign of  anything too serious, only seriously annoying. So now I’m trying to determine if it has something to do with certain food items or  not.  I know I ought to see a doctor to perhaps find out what the problem is, but since I’m not really ill in any other way I think maybe it’s not that serious after all.

I did only watch parts of some movies yesterday.  I also listened to some music on Spotify.  Then I spent a lot of time looking through my Tumblr dashboard and also some time reading my Twitter timeline. My day ended in a chatroom of a friend, then I went to sleep.

Today I hope to remember to watch episode 7 of Game of Thrones since I’ve managed to forget it for the last few days. At first I didn’t like that show much, but after watching some more of it I started to be interested and now I actually find it entertaining enough to want to follow it.

Later on I expect to talk to some friends and have some fun. Maybe I’ll watch some TV or some movie. I’m sure I’ll be having some Easter candy as Easter is a lot about candy in Sweden lately. It used to be about painting and eating  boiled eggs, pickled herrings, salmon, roasted lamb and such but now the candy eggs are IT.  A long, long time ago I believe Easter also had some kind of religious significance but I’m not sure what.

Happy Easter!

Sometimes

Published 02/19/2012 by MoonieZ

Sometimes it’s good to stop and not rush in like a fool. I was about to update this sooner but I’m glad I didn’t. That text would not have been clever if it had been written and published then. At that time I didn’t have all the facts and would have risked jumping to conclusions, the wrong conclusions. Now that the facts are in I am able to write something better.

Yesterday I didn’t do much of anything. I had been awake almost to 6am hoping to have a little fun in a chatroom but instead I spent the night waiting. Needless to say after that adventure I was tired because I slept only about 4 hours before getting up again.  Not much later my mother invited me to have dinner at the local pizza place so we went there in the early afternoon and had some pizza before going grocery shopping and then returning home.

The rest of the evening I spent watching the live broadcast of Whitney Houston’s funeral service online  and later I also watched the third qualifying competition of the Swedish Song Contest on public television.

Before going to sleep I looked around at chatrooms and took a quick look at Chatroulette. I also looked at my Tumblr dashboard. Feeling slightly bored and tired I fell asleep after midnight. Slept well and woke up around 6am then went back to sleep for another 3 hours.

Got up and got dressed at around 9:30am.  Checked Twitter and read some posts. Went out and removed some snow, got the morning paper and returned inside to read it. Got a call from my uncle asking if I would like to go to the theater. I didn’t really feel like it but eventually I said I would go. He had a ticket left over due to another person’s illness and didn’t want it to go to waste.

The play was a production of  Noel Coward‘s Brief Encounter where the live action on stage was integrated with filmed sequences shown on a screen above the stage. It was an entertaining show but I can’t say it was the best I’ve ever seen. At one point I even started to fall asleep which was odd since the play is only about 90 minutes long.

I went to buy some groceries on the way home and got back just as it started to snow. Had dinner and then went to check out the latest news from the online world.

Soon I will have a shower and then I have a few more hours to kill before going to sleep again.  Another weekend over and done.

Peace.

 

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Published 01/15/2012 by MoonieZ

Hi there…

Yes, I’m still alive. I know I haven’t been writing much here lately. I’ve been too lazy. I haven’t been too busy. I have been doing things but mostly I’ve been sleeping. Well, not only sleeping. I’ve been at the office, I’ve been at home and I’ve been eating too much, gained too much weight,  been feeling a bit down and out and somewhat depressed. Lonely. Confused. Not in tune with anything.

So this weekend I’ve enjoyed some fun times and seen a good friend. Suddenly I feel reborn. Funny how some late night fun can change my mood and my outlook on life. Or at least turn it around for the better. I woke up smiling this afternoon. Haven’t felt like that in too long. Decided to just be in that feeling and not do too much. Of course I had my usual urge to send countless tweets and emails to my good friend to let her know just how good I’m feeling today but then I stopped in my tracks and decided to not do my usual stunts. Instead I’m going to keep myself under control and let my friend have her weekend in peace without my urgency.

So I’ve let my Sunday unfold in about the same manner as most other Sundays. Been reading the morning paper. Had an early dinner. Listened to music ,watched some videos and looked through my Tumblr dashboard. Backed up some files. Cleaned up the hard drive. Listened to more music. Watched some TV, read some news.  Had a shower. Plan to go to sleep early and be ready to start a new week in a good way.

Other notes. My old friend has not answered my last email so I’m guessing I can let that whole thing rest and remain a fond memory.

I’ve been looking for a direction but haven’t really found one. I have plans and ideas but I seem to have trouble making them happen, turning them into something real.

Always been a problem.

I don’t want to spend any more time living in my head. I’ll be 45 this year. I have to grow up now. Start to act my age. Only one problem – I find growing up to be a bit boring. I don’t even know what it really means. Once long ago I thought I had grown up. I acted like someone a lot older than my actual age. Then I lost that somehow. Probably I got scared of life after my father died. Or I started to think of living as pointless, a long wait for the end that no one can escape. So – maybe I should set out to find God? Not my cup of tea, old boy. I believe in humanity and in human beings and that’s all the faith I need.

Been watching lots of movies the past weeks. Too many to mention. Most of them were good entertainment. Some were a bit boring. Some I haven’t been able to finish. Like Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. I hope to finish watching during the coming week.

Once more I’ve managed to write a post with no real point to it and going all over the map in terms of topics.  That’s how my mind works when I set it free.

Hope it hasn’t been a waste of your time to read this.

Peace.

What I did

Published 12/11/2011 by MoonieZ
Mozzarella cheese

Image via Wikipedia

Friday. I was glad to get out of the office and on my way home before the worst of the rain and bad weather hit. Had some bad luck with the buses but at last I was at home. Had a homemade hamburger for dinner and later in the evening enjoyed a nice slice of pizza. Also had some other items lined up for late night snacks. Some bread, Italian salami and mozzarella cheese and a big bottle of Dr Pepper.

However late in the evening I watched a movie  - The Whistleblower – that nearly made me sick. Don’t get me wrong, it was a very good movie about a very serious and real subject – human trafficking – but some scenes made me almost sick with sadness and horror. The cruelty and violence the victims of trafficking – women and young girls –  suffer in this movie at the hands of the men who buy, sell and use them as slaves made me feel ashamed of being a man even though I would never be able to be a part of anything like that.

Surprisingly I managed to sleep when I went to sleep and I woke up rested on Saturday morning.

After breakfast and reading the paper I didn’t do very much. Looked at Twitter and Tumblr, listened to music and spent some time daydreaming. Had some grilled salmon and fried sliced potatoes for dinner.  Some pain from kidney stones made me go to bed for an hour.

Later, in the evening, I went  by bus and train to do some grocery shopping.

Spent the rest of the evening watching a movie - Sahara -  with James Belushi as the main character.  It was a war movie but it felt more like a western. Entertaining and thrilling.

Slept well  and long and woke up after eleven on Sunday morning. Got up and read all of  the morning paper at breakfast. Had a ham sandwich for breakfast.

Then a bit later I went out to test if the car would start as it hadn’t been started for a long time. It started on the first try.

After reblogging and looking at my Tumblr dashboard I decided to write something for my blog and this is it. I admit it’s not much news or very interesting but at least it’s another update.

The rest of this Sunday afternoon and evening I will probably spend the same way as most Sunday evenings. Reading, listening to music and/or watching a movie.  Will have a shower and maybe wash my hair too. Haven’t decided yet.

Tomorrow is a new day at the office. New supervisors starting. Will be interesting. Sort of.

Peace.

Words in a row

Published 12/05/2011 by MoonieZ

Hey, hi, hello, how’s the world been treating you?

I have to say I’m rather tired today. I slept rather well but woke up a bit early and couldn’t go back to sleep. Tweeted some while still half awake and then somehow got up.  Checked my Tumblr dashboard and reblogged a lot of stuff as usual. Too much being posted there for me to keep up with. But I like to look through it everyday anyway.  Always find some stuff worth looking at or reading. Sometimes fun and sometimes serious.  Somewhere in the middle of this I remember watching a video and masturbating but I could be mistaken as I wasn’t really all awake yet. Then I got ready, dressed, washed and brushed, drank some water to keep my kidney stones at bay through the morning rush hour commuting on buses and trains and went out the door towards the bus stop.

I know I ought to eat some breakfast but 1) I’m actually poor 2) I feel sick if I eat right after waking up so I skip breakfast and eat nothing. I drink water and sometimes I bring some lunch to the office but not always. Far from it. Then when I get home in the early evening I have dinner which is almost always a cooked hot meal. Later in the evening I may sometimes have a snack, a sandwich or some fruit depending on what I have around and what I feel like eating.

The bus was on time, I made it to the train station on time and the commuter train was on time too. Not crowded, I got a good seat close to the doors. I looked out the windows at the frosty landscape rushing by outside and thought about a tweet I had read earlier while still in bed and only barely awake.Something about the word ‘frosty’ had caught my attention.

I arrived at the station where I change trains and found out the other train was delayed. Not much only enough to make me pace around the platform for a few minutes while trying to keep warm. When the train arrived it was not crowded and I got a seat close to the doors again. I looked out the window and noticed I passed by the road leading to my first place of work – a small grocery store in a  suburb.

While I thought about how it had been to work there and the people I had worked with a colleague from the office came walking down the aisle of the train and sat down in the seat opposite.  Soon we started discussing the weather, global warming and climate change.

I said that I’m not sure the changes are due to human activity even though that’s what science claims is true. I have a hard time accepting a few hundred years of industrialism could really affect the Earth this much. My idea is that the climate might change anyway as it has done in the past going from warm to cold and then back to warm again.  Who knows. The Earth has been around a long time and I’m sure it will still be around long after all humans are gone. However this is just what I think and I might be all wrong.

Walking from the station to the office the discussion continued until we had arrived inside.

I went to my room and switched on the computer, set up my stuff, set my phone to charge and eventually started writing and thinking – which means working on my project. Looked out the window at the lake down below and then at the sky beginning to clear. Looked at Twitter, looked at Tumblr and started thinking about updating this blog.

Talked to the supervisor and continued working. Opened Spotify and listened to some new songs on a friend’s playlist while writing some texts for this blog and also one for my project.  Uploaded some photos to the blog and tried to write some more without much success.

Somehow I wasn’t writing what I really wanted and what I wanted I couldn’t write at that moment. Or at any other moment. I have a lot of trouble writing certain things. The thoughts are there and the feelings are there but the words aren’t there. Just refuse to come forward. I’m probably afraid to put it in writing, afraid of the fool I’ll appear to be – mostly to myself. What the world thinks is beyond my control anyway. So I didn’t write it. Instead I wrote about other things for my project, read a lot of news and articles about things I might use for my project and also tweeted and looked at Tumblr now and then. All of this made the day pass by quickly soon enough it was time to pack up and go home, which I did. Got on the first bus and had a terrible pain in my back from the kidney stones as I had neglected to drink enough water during the day.

For most of the hour-long ride home by three different buses I was in pain. So the first thing I did when I got home was to drink a lot of water and relax. Then I had dinner. Fish and potatoes. It was ok but not as good as I expected given the price of the fish had been rather high. After dinner I checked email, tweets, tweeted and checked and reblogged on Tumblr for a while. Also started to listen to music on Spotify and thought about writing some more for this blog as I was not happy with what I had posted so far today.  Had some gingerbread hearts and some water and started to write. And here I am now. Still writing this text. Maybe it’s time to stop now. Not much more to add.  At least not that I can think of. There’ll probably be more tomorrow, I can feel my nostalgic mode getting ready to possess me so I might be going back to the glory of the past days again in another post.

Peace.

More words for a Sunday

Published 11/06/2011 by MoonieZ

Going to watch the final episode of a TV drama – Mad Dogs.  Then go to sleep.

My Sunday has been nice. I’ve spent it doing very little. I wrote a post for this blog in the morning after having had breakfast and read the morning paper. After writing the text I listened to some music on Spotify while looking at Tumblr. Then I masturbated. Felt rather good.

Later in the day, early afternoon I had Sunday dinner with my mother and my uncle and aunt. It was nice and the food was good. After clearing the table and washing some dishes I went for a drive to do some shopping for my mother. I also bought some stuff for myself. Returned home to read some tweets and look at Tumblr while having a drink and some snacks.

I had planned to have a shower and wash my hair but ended up only having a shower due to not having energy enough to wash my long hair. Will do it tomorrow evening instead. I know this sounds like I’m really lazy but some days I just can’t find the energy to do it. Anyway only one more week then I’m going to cut most of it off and have really short hair for the rest of the year. Now I look too much like a heavy metal fan or a hippie.

Now I’ll just finish this and then go get ready for sleep. Tomorrow is another long day at the office.

Peace.

 

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