Seven years of blogging

Soon, in June, this blog celebrates 7 years of existence.

It started out as my outlet for thoughts and feelings generated by interactions at a community webcam chat site.  Then it evolved into something like an online autobiography written and published one post at a time. From time to time I have also published pure fictional writings that have often been simple spur of the moment things. Some of my posts have been about certain topics – some attempts to discuss those topics and present my opinions. A lot of posts have also been about my interest in music, movies, books and food. Through the years I have posted photos, pictures, audio and video clips to break the blocks of text and to make the blog more entertaining.

When I started back in 2005 I never imagined having any readers but of course I hoped some people would find their way to my blog and perhaps even find it interesting enough to come back.  Now, seven years later, I know I have readers and even readers who regularly follow my writing here. I am very grateful for each and every one of you and thank you for reading my texts. I will do my best to continue writing and publish texts and other material in order to keep you interested.

However, what I write will still be whatever I feel like writing and that way it will as always reflect my personality. I will not ever attempt to adjust my style in order to attract more readers or try to figure out what will please the most readers.

Since people have found their way here and continued to follow my blog without me trying to please anyone, I think it would be stupid to start now. I will continue being me. That’s a promise.

 

 

A painting sold

Interesting how one famous painting can be sold for more than $100 million. There’s obviously not a lack of money in the world.

At times like this, I tend to think what if that money was put to better use instead. So many other things could be bought or done for those millions of dollars that could change things for the better for many people in the world.

Some might argue that buying this painting is good use of money and that Edvard Munch  is an important artist whose work is in fact priceless. I will not argue that. I still would not spend $100 million on a painting  even if I could afford it.

April is here again

I noticed I had not yet made any updates on my blog this month. To be honest I haven’t had much interest in writing anything for some time now. Days have come and gone and I’ve been doing other things. Watched movies, written about movies, listened to music and read some books.

Been looking for jobs too. All of these things have combined to take time away from this blog. After writing more than 1,000 posts during the last almost seven years of maintaining this blog I sometimes feel I’ve got nothing more to say about anything. I’ve had some wild ideas about starting a brand new blog and still haven’t let go of that idea. I might also use some of the better texts from this blog for that new idea or project. However, at the office I’m currently working on a blog in Swedish and I will have to focus all my writing skills on that for the near future.

After becoming more and more involved in social media and after finally getting my Bachelor’s degree in Cinema and Media Studies I feel like trying to build a career out of these things combined with the added factor of my interest in writing. Somehow, I try to tell myself  it’s not yet too late to do this. To change direction and explore new paths in life.

Since nothing has worked out of the things I have done in the past, I can’t see I have much to lose by trying something new.

Today has been a fine sunny day but tonight and tomorrow is supposed to bring rain and snow and really bad weather. It looks like I’ll be spending my Easter weekend indoors mostly. Fine by me as long as there is Internet.

Peace.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Hello!

Happy International Women’s Day!

Yes, I know. this isn’t the funny update I promised yesterday. I’m so sorry to disappoint you. It won’t happen again.

Earlier this week, police fired more than 10 shots through the window of a gym in Stockholm while trying to arrest three armed robbers who had recently held up a goldsmith’s store. Luckily nobody in the gym was injured by the shots but it proved to me that going to the gym can sometimes be hazardous to one’s health.

The Swedish Prime Minister and his wife are separating. Being in politics and in charge of a whole nation can obviously put a strain on a marriage. The interesting aspect of this news item is that every media commentator seems to feel a need to comment on this, if only to state that they hope everyone else will not comment or discuss it.

MoonieZ is trying to stop worrying and learn to love the bomb. As this is a very difficult task MoonieZ can’t promise any fast results.

The weather today is chilly but sunny.

Peace.

Marching on to March

Hello, it’s early morning March 1.

I hope you are not asleep because this is my first post this month. Of course this post just might put you to sleep but that’s another matter.

I woke up at 4am for no reason and happened to see I had missed seeing a friend who was online. For a minute or two I thought about going back to sleep or if I should check if my friend would still be on. Finally I got up and walked over to my computer to check. Luckily I wasn’t totally too late. Even more luckily I don’t have to go to the office today and tomorrow it’s closed so I have a long weekend even if I still have things to do so I’m not actually off for two days, only for one but it’s still good.

This week has not been too good until today. I’ve had a lot of pain and problems and been feeling rather depressed for many reasons. Sometimes the reality of my situation gets the better of me. And everything else that has gone wrong or seems to go wrong does not make me any less sad.

I’m feeling used up and lost. Broken. Nothing really matters anymore.  I mostly have nightmares and sometimes even my daydreams turn out bad. I worry  and I can’t find any peace or happiness. Well, nobody likes to hear about this so I won’t dwell on it too long.

Maybe it will change, maybe I can make it change. Time will tell.

Right now I’m at least glad I’ve had some fun seeing a friend.

 

How to be a friend

I’ve been terrible friend at times. Probably most of the time, because I’ve rarely had any real friends. There, I admitted it. An ugly truth but it needed to be told. I’m not a good friend person. I have tried to learn how to be a good friend but to be honest I am sure I still have a lot to learn in that department.

Anyway, I have had some friends. Still have some people I count as friends in my life.

Today I got an email from one friend, a person who used to be a very good and close friend, for the first time in six months. It made me very happy to read that email. Very happy to know my old friend is still alive and at least living.

The coincidence being I saw that email right after having watched the movie The Social Network about the creation of  Facebook. Since that movie is somewhat about friendship, it got me thinking, especially after reading the email, about my own way of being a friend and how I treat those I call my friends. Not always a  pretty picture.

I’ve not always been there when I should have, I’ve avoided confrontation, I’ve not always been honest about why I haven’t been around and other things like that. I’ve been a coward, I’ve  been selfish. But I’m working on being a better friend.

Because I really want to be a better friend. To all my friends. Because my friends mean a lot to me. More than they know.

Moronic feelings

Sometimes I start to think about all the information about myself I’ve shared with the readers of this blog over the years. Sometimes I look back and read posts I made years ago and ask myself: did I really write that? Did I really feel that way then? Why did  I think I should share that information with the world? What made me think anybody would care? Or even read the text?

Obviously I must have thought somebody would care or at least read what I had written or I wouldn’t have posted it. I probably would have written it but perhaps only to file it away somewhere and forget about ever producing it.

Sometimes I feel very awkward about things I’ve written. Thinking it to be too personal, too private, too intimate to really put out on the internet where nothing ever goes away once its published. However I’m not saying I’m ashamed or regret anything I’ve shared I only feel a bit moronic at times because who am I to presume that anything I have to say really matter at all to anyone except me.

Who cares how I feel and who needs to know how I feel about my friends and who needs to hear about my problems or about my past.

I should have asked myself this before I started this blog of course. To ask now is very moronic I think. Now it’s too late.

Since it’s too late to turn back I have decided that the only way to go is forward which means I will keep posting texts and I will keep sharing my life with the world – or at least with my readers – for as long as I feel like writing.

Just wanted to share this piece of information.

Peace.

This is Tuesday

Tuesday speaking. Just had a word from Monday, said it won’t be around until next week. So, I guess you are stuck with little old me. I know, it sucks but life can’t only be Fridays or Saturdays or whatever your preference might be. There has to be some room for Tuesdays too. Now, I know, we don’t amount to a hell of a lot. Mostly you just pass through us on your way to the greener pastures of Friday and Saturday but hey, here’s a secret, they’re just days of the week too, believe it or not they’re just the same as me and my buddy Monday. However most of you don’t seem to notice us and when you do you want to forget us. Or get rid of us. Even Wednesday and Thursday are more popular. They almost get to hang with the cool kids so they usually don’t want us to tag along. Being a Tuesday is no piece of cake. Sometimes I wish I was a Friday too or that Friday was a Tuesday so that I would get to be cool instead. I know jealousy is not very attractive so I try not to think about how much I’d like to be Friday, instead I focus on the fact that without me Monday would be very lonely just like poor Sunday who’s all alone at the end of the week. Not cool enough to hang with Saturday and Friday and not dull enough to be seen with losers like me and Monday. It must suck to be Sunday too. At least it must be a bit lonely to always be the day when everyone’s resting up after two wild nights of partying and mayhem.

Now before I start to sound all negative, I’ll sign off.

Peace.

Thursday November 3, 2011

The  year is closing in on its end. What has 2011 been like? For me. Not much different than 2010 but not much to write about.

Most of the time has been spent searching for work and waiting for answers. The rest of the time I’ve spent online. With friends, or alone. Watched movies, read books and listened to music. Done a lot of thinking. Had a lot of fun but also been very sad and depressed at times. Had very little money but managed to survive. I know that the future looks much like more of the same but there’s also a chance that things can change for the better. I keep hoping it will.

The bad part of 2011 has been to lose my old friend. I don’t have any communication with her anymore and it has been hard to see that friendship fade away. I’ve tried to keep it alive but it takes two to tango. I have to respect her not wanting to keep in touch anymore.

The good part of 2011 has been the friends I still have. Especially one of you. Also to have finally finished my Bachelor’s degree ten years overdue feels very good.

Peace.

Mixed emotions

Hi,

It’s been a strange day. Gloomy weather.

First the news early this morning that Apple’s co-founder Steve Jobs had passed away. Maybe not totally unexpected but still a bit of a shock.  Not that I’m a huge Apple products user but I still think Jobs did a lot of good and influenced a lot of people.

Next up the good news that Swedish poet Tomas Tranströmer has been awarded this year’s Nobel Prize in Literature. Nobody seems to have expected a Swede to be awarded but now it’s a fact and probably well deserved too. I don’t really know as I’m not a huge reader of poetry, unless it’s song lyrics.

So it’s been  day of sadness and joy.

Also today, I listened to a lot of good new music while working on my new project at the office. When I say new I mean new to my ears. I listened to songs by Colbie Caillat, Gavin DeGraw, Joss Stone and Jack Johnson among others.

Peace.