Time for an update

Morning, Wednesday. Nice to see you again. Been a week since last time. How have you been? So and so? Ok. I’ve been mostly rather good. A bit busy, a bit in pain and I’ve had some fun.

At the office I had rather a busy week. Lots of writing to do. Lots of jobs to apply for. Lots of work to do on the blogging project I’m still trying to get going.

Also, I’ve been following the trial against the terrorist in Norway who detonated a bomb killing 8 people in Oslo‘s city center and later shot and killed 69 people (mostly teenagers) at a summer camp on a small island near Oslo on July 22 last year.

A terrible and cruel act of terrorism.

Let’s see, what else have I been up to? Sleeping. Done some of that. Can’t remember how much though. Eating. Yep, done some of that too. Probably not as healthy as I ought to and probably too much at times but hey, I only live once and when I’m dead I’m done so let the good times roll…and rolling is what I’ll be doing if I don’t watch what I eat.

Drinking? Yeah, but nothing containing alcohol. I don’t often drink anything other than water. If I drink anything else its usually juice or Dr Pepper.

What else? I’ve watched Game of Thrones. Just keeps getting better. I wish someone would kill Joffrey, that little sadist annoys me greatly  but  I have a feeling he won’t be punished anytime soon.

Watched some movies. Too many to mention all of them but the best ones have been Toy Story and Monsters, Inc – both produced by Pixar. I have only a few more to watch before having seen all of them.

I have also been listening to music. Usually on Spotify. There’s really no need for any other source. At least not for me. I keep finding stuff I didn’t know of as well as stuff i like that I haven’t listened to for some years. Now that Spotify links are possible to embed into Tumblr and WordPress it has become even better as a source for sharing and discussing music.

Ok, what else. Yes, I have been to some chat rooms to see some people and enjoyed a few fun nights. Been really nice.

The rest of the time I have had some chores to take care of.

I think that’s all there is.

No sex? Nope, no sex. Unless  a few moments of daydreaming in connection with thoughts of a certain someone counts? Maybe. Perhaps. Does it matter? Not really.

Peace.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Hi there…

Yes, I’m still alive. I know I haven’t been writing much here lately. I’ve been too lazy. I haven’t been too busy. I have been doing things but mostly I’ve been sleeping. Well, not only sleeping. I’ve been at the office, I’ve been at home and I’ve been eating too much, gained too much weight,  been feeling a bit down and out and somewhat depressed. Lonely. Confused. Not in tune with anything.

So this weekend I’ve enjoyed some fun times and seen a good friend. Suddenly I feel reborn. Funny how some late night fun can change my mood and my outlook on life. Or at least turn it around for the better. I woke up smiling this afternoon. Haven’t felt like that in too long. Decided to just be in that feeling and not do too much. Of course I had my usual urge to send countless tweets and emails to my good friend to let her know just how good I’m feeling today but then I stopped in my tracks and decided to not do my usual stunts. Instead I’m going to keep myself under control and let my friend have her weekend in peace without my urgency.

So I’ve let my Sunday unfold in about the same manner as most other Sundays. Been reading the morning paper. Had an early dinner. Listened to music ,watched some videos and looked through my Tumblr dashboard. Backed up some files. Cleaned up the hard drive. Listened to more music. Watched some TV, read some news.  Had a shower. Plan to go to sleep early and be ready to start a new week in a good way.

Other notes. My old friend has not answered my last email so I’m guessing I can let that whole thing rest and remain a fond memory.

I’ve been looking for a direction but haven’t really found one. I have plans and ideas but I seem to have trouble making them happen, turning them into something real.

Always been a problem.

I don’t want to spend any more time living in my head. I’ll be 45 this year. I have to grow up now. Start to act my age. Only one problem – I find growing up to be a bit boring. I don’t even know what it really means. Once long ago I thought I had grown up. I acted like someone a lot older than my actual age. Then I lost that somehow. Probably I got scared of life after my father died. Or I started to think of living as pointless, a long wait for the end that no one can escape. So – maybe I should set out to find God? Not my cup of tea, old boy. I believe in humanity and in human beings and that’s all the faith I need.

Been watching lots of movies the past weeks. Too many to mention. Most of them were good entertainment. Some were a bit boring. Some I haven’t been able to finish. Like Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. I hope to finish watching during the coming week.

Once more I’ve managed to write a post with no real point to it and going all over the map in terms of topics.  That’s how my mind works when I set it free.

Hope it hasn’t been a waste of your time to read this.

Peace.

Harry Potter – the movies

Yes, I’ve watched all of them recently. At first I tried to read the books but I just couldn’t be patient enough to read them in digital format. So, I decided to cheat and watch the movies instead.

My impression of them is that they are all well made  and entertaining. Perhaps a bit slow here and there and some parts are repeated a bit too many times. The actors are all great and it’s been fun to see so many famous British actors perform throughout these movies.

The story is original in some aspects but far from it in many others. It is obvious how the author has collected and incorporated parts and pieces in terms of creatures, character traits, themes, plot elements and such  from lots of myths, fairy tales and other works such as novels and movies. I trace pieces of C S Lewis Narnia books, Tolkien‘s Lord of The Rings trilogy and George Lucas Star Wars-movies to just name a few of the more obvious sources of inspiration.

The story started out fairly light and humourous and became darker towards the end. I enjoyed the first movies the most and had a lot of trouble keeping my interest during the last two or three movies.

Also it became clear early on where the whole story would lead and at times I wished there had been a few more twists to make it less obvious.

Still, I’m glad to have seen them all and finally have some idea of what they’re all about. I enjoyed watching all the movies and maybe I will watch them again some day. Or try to make my way through reading all the books.

Christmas Day 2011

Woke up late on Christmas day after a good night’s sleep. I had the good fortune of going to bed with a smile on my face and a good feeling after a mostly not very happy Christmas eve. Last thing I did before going to sleep was to spend a little time online in a chatroom of a friend. This managed to change my mood for the better and listening to a Christmas story also helped.

After breakfast which was more like lunch I spent my Christmas day in a relaxed manner. While it was still daylight I went for a drive around the neighbourhood and got some groceries. Then I watched some movies – Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Black Swan and Step Brothers. I also started to read the book I got from my brother for Christmas.

In the afternoon I sent a text message to a friend I had not had any news from for at least 6 months. It was only a Christmas greeting and I didn’t expect any reply. However a few hours later I got a reply – a Christmas greeting. This made me smile. Then I thought about sending another message to find out how things are going but I didn’t. Not sure if I should or not. Sometimes it might be better to hold off.

Late in the evening a heavy storm swept  across the countryside. Power went out during the night and most of the following day. Trees fell across the roads, on cars and buildings.
Spent most of my Monday by the window to get enough light to read and heated some food over the fire in the fireplace downstairs. When darkness started to fall, the power came back on and I decided to update my blog.

Will probably spend my evening reading, watching movies and listening to music.

Peace.

 

Here’s some words

Evening,

Have no idea what happened to this week. I’ve been busy trying to find out what to do. And I’ve watched some movies, some TV, listened to music through Spotify, eaten and slept.

The days are short, or rather the hours of daylight are few. The days are the same length as always. There’s no snow.  There are reports that there might not be much snow around here this Winter. No snow is ok, but it makes my world very dark. A little snow on the ground would make the world a little brighter. However after the last two very snowy and cold winters I’m happy if this one will be a “green” one. Not much fun for fans of winter sports or for the kids who like to play in the snow but they are mostly playing with video games these days anyway.

I’ve watched a part of William Friedkin‘s Cruising ,but each time I watch it I find it too scary to finish in one sitting. Switched to Loverboy for some nostalgic laughs. That movie still makes me laugh each time I watch it and yet I guess its kind of cheesy even for a 1980′s comedy. Have also watched a bunch of other movies. Home for the Holidays, Carrie, 300, The Accused, Serpico and Road House. All good movies that I have watched more than once but still return to watch again. After studying cinema I’ve learned that watching a movie only once is not enough if you want to claim to really have seen it. Each time I return to watch a movie again I notice things I didn’t see or think of the last time.

Today I got up at around 9:30 and had a nice morning eating breakfast and reading the morning paper. Later my uncle came around to visit. After that I drove my mother to the church to light a candle at my father’s grave. Then we went to the grocery store and after shopping stopped by the local pizza place to order take out pizza for dinner.

After getting back home, I’ve spent the evening relaxing, reading news and looking at Twitter and Tumblr. Maybe I’ll watch another movie or do some more writing after this update is done.

Peace.

My Sunday

I forgot to write about my Sunday, I didn’t only watch movies.

It was Father’s Day here and as usual I went to the church with my mother to light a candle at my father’s grave. The rest of the day I did think about him a lot and wondered if he would have been happy to know I finally finished my studies. I think he would have liked that I didn’t give it up even though it did take a lot longer than I ever thought it would. Also I was very close to giving up many times during the past ten years.

Sometimes I wish I had my father around so I could ask some questions I can’t seem to figure out the answers to myself. I miss him. I miss that he always were around and ready to lend a hand or help out with some good advice.  I miss that he could always make the mood of a room better just by being in it. He was good at making other people feel good and at ease. He was almost always smiling and in a good mood. Rarely got angry but when he did he exploded. It didn’t last long though. He was good at sports. Competed in cross-country skiing and in gymnastics among other sports. Won some regional championships. Of course he was also very good at his job. He finished his pilot training in the Swedish Air Force as number one in his class out of about 50 students. Only about half of the students who had been admitted finished the course and I think  a few even crashed and were killed during training so it was rather dangerous to become a pilot in those days. Later on he studied to become an air traffic controller and worked as such the rest of his time in the Air Force.

The rest of my Sunday I watched a few movies, listened to music. Had  a shower, washed my hair and went to sleep rather early to ready for Monday and a new week at the office.

“Revenge of the Nerds”

Cover via Amazon

A few weeks ago I watched a movie as part of the Movie Monday. I never got around to posting a review so I’ll be doing it now.

The movie is Revenge Of The Nerds (1984).

A typical 1980′s comedy. I remember renting and watching some of these often rather cheesy movies on home video in the late 1980′s.

Revenge of the Nerds I at first  didn’t remember watching before when I watched it recently. However, after being done watching I did remember having watched most of it before on TV at my brother’s home in California in the 1990′s.

The movie tells the story of two nerdy brothers going to college and the problems they face when they realize they are nerds and not very popular among the other students, except among the other nerds. They battle against discriminating  jocks and cheerleaders.

I found the movie entertaining and fun at times. As I am  sort of a nerd I could easily identify with the problems the nerds faced in the movie and the way they went about  dealing with them.

As a movie it’s not much out of the ordinary and the acting and directing is average.

I might watch it again in a few years when I have forgotten about it again.

More movies watched

Bad Lieutenant Port of Call:New Orleans

This was one strange movie. I thought it was a remake of Bad Lieutenant, the Abel Ferrara movie starring Harvey Keitel but after watching it I’m not sure. Anyway Nicolas Cage portrays a rather corrupt cop in New Orleans and the movie is directed by none other than Werner Herzog. Why a genius like Herzog would take on a project like this I don’t know. The result is a rather average thriller/crime movie. Or perhaps it’s a drama. I’m not sure.

Watching the cop fall apart through gambling, drug abuse and outbursts of anger was kind of entertaining due to Cage being rather good at this type of role. Also it was interesting to see some scenes from the streets of New Orleans. However I soon lost interest in the plot if there is one and the movie just rolled by towards the end.

Terminator Salvation 

After James Cameron stopped being involved in the Terminator franchise the whole story has taken a turn towards the ridiculous. This fourth movie was no exception even if it is a bit better than what I expected. Not that it’s not well made and all but it still doesn’t give me the feeling I used to have when watching the first two movies. Especially the first one. Ok, I was a lot younger when I first saw The Terminator but even today when I watch it again, it blows my mind.

I doubt I’ll be watching Terminator Salvation again though.

I Spit On Your Grave (remake)

The original version from the 1970′s managed to scare and disgust me when I first watched it on DVD some years ago. This remake version does not pack the same punch at all. Still it’s gory and the guys get what they deserve in the end but it leaves me with a feeling of why did I watch this?

The whole thing is too polished. The main character seems not to be very affected by what happens to her.Or perhaps it’s only me not getting it.

Could be. I still think the original is the better movie.

Paul Blart:Mall Cop

I liked this one. Probably because I’m a sucker for a movie where the main character turns out to be something other and better than the loser he seems to be at the start. Perhaps I identify with characters like that. Perhaps I wish I’d turn out to be the hero who saves the day and gets the girl at the end. In my dreams I do. Only in my dreams.

However this movie tells the story of a rather fat man who wants to be a police officer but at the start of the movie he is working as a security guard at a shopping mall. An unarmed security guard. He rolls around on a Segway and performs his duty but wishes to be more important and less rídiculed. Meets a nice girl working at the mall and at first manages to mess it all up.

Then the story turns into less of a comedy when some gang of robbers show up to steal the money from all the stores at closing time on Black Friday. The fat security guard is the only man standing in the way of the robbers reaching their goal.  Of course there’s a happy ending.

I enjoyed the movie without it being anything special. I’ve seen this kind of story many times in different settings but I still find it worth watching. As I said, I’m a sucker for movies about losers becoming heroes and finally making their dreams real. I guess I always keep hoping it will happen to me too. Keep dreaming…

The Expendables

A Sly Stallone  (director, writer and star) vehicle about a gang of guns for hire who are recruited to save a small South American island nation from some ex-CIA thugs and a dictator.

Looks and feels like all the 1980′s action movies Stallone used to star in. Lots of other – younger – action stars play parts in this movie and some older heroes make small appearances.

Shallow and full of oneliners instead of any real dialogue, the movie moves fast and serves up a lot of action scenes. However the action tends to be a bit monotonous and in the end I don’t really care what happens, who wins, who lives or how high the body count goes.

Is it entertaining? Mostly. If you suspend your brain for the duration of the movie. Enough said.

A new day

Ok. Sunday morning.

Yes, I slept four hours or so. Woke up. Then it hit me. And writing was the only option. Well the only sane option. Not that I didn’t feel the tears burning my eyes or the choke of my throat trying to swallow a sob but yes writing is the only sane option in a world of insanity.

So I wrote about my feelings at the moment. In the moment. Managed to make it a text. Bypassing the perfectionist usually lodged in my brain trying to get me to stop or take another route or change a word, delete a sentence. Scrap the whole post and start over. Not so this time. Not so.

I write to keep myself alive when all I want to do is die. No, all I want to do is feel dead inside so I don’t have to feel anything anymore. Not having any luck with that though so all I’ve got left is writing. At times of trouble the writing steps in and saves the day. Not really. It saves my sanity, it keeps me thinking and lets me deal with my feelings like they are not mine at the same time as they are. If you don’t know what I’m saying. Why would you?

Anyway, this is supposed to be about my week.
I’ve been having a real struggle writing the text at the office. The one text to rule them all, it seems. It has not let itself be written for months. But this Thursday I finally got somewhere with it. Friday I started to see how it would all fit together. So tomorrow – Monday – I hope to be able to finish it. This would mean a lot. It would be the final step towards finishing my studies. Of getting a degree. Be able to look for other types of work. Maybe open the door to a better tomorrow. A future with more than nothing to look forward to. That would make it all worthwhile.

Most days the weather was ok. Some rain here and there and on Friday and Saturday a lot of rain. I had a pain in my stomach all week and almost couldn’t do anything. It didn’t help my mood and it didn’t help my writing.

At home I slept a lot.Had nothing better to do. Or actually I had some chores and I had some other things but I didn’t feel like doing anything.

All I did was miss someone. Not true but my mind was sometimes drifting away daydreaming of someone. Not as often as before but often enough. Dreams.

What else? I watched movies. Some of those I have written some reviews of but there are still more to be written. Will do that next.

I feel my feelings starting to relax again. I guess I worked through them again without hiding from them. So I guess I don’t really want to feel dead after all.

Today I don’t know what I’ll be doing, got no plans. Perhaps watch another movie. Only know one thing for sure. I will be alive. Anything can happen.

Peace.

Movies watched

While She Was Out

A short and very unoriginal story. Revolves around a housewife and her struggle to escape a gang of young thugs chasing her.
The movie reminded me of a lot of other – better – movies and left me with a feeling of was this all?

The Lost

Confused young man turns into serial killer.
The acting in this movie was pretty good but it still lacked something. I had a very uneasy feeling throughout and was very disgusted by the gory killing taking place.

Beyond The Border

A Swedish action movie set during WW 2 at the border between Nazi-occupied Norway and neutral Sweden.
Soldiers from a Swedish outpost venture into Norway and get into trouble with German border patrols.
Not totally realistic but nevertheless an entertaining adventure with decent acting and effects.

Centurion

British action flick set during the Roman occupation of Britain.
A group of Roman soldiers are caught behind enemy lines and forced to fight their way back.
Actually better than I expected while still looking like it got made using sets and props left behind by some bigger production.