Seven years of blogging

Soon, in June, this blog celebrates 7 years of existence.

It started out as my outlet for thoughts and feelings generated by interactions at a community webcam chat site.  Then it evolved into something like an online autobiography written and published one post at a time. From time to time I have also published pure fictional writings that have often been simple spur of the moment things. Some of my posts have been about certain topics – some attempts to discuss those topics and present my opinions. A lot of posts have also been about my interest in music, movies, books and food. Through the years I have posted photos, pictures, audio and video clips to break the blocks of text and to make the blog more entertaining.

When I started back in 2005 I never imagined having any readers but of course I hoped some people would find their way to my blog and perhaps even find it interesting enough to come back.  Now, seven years later, I know I have readers and even readers who regularly follow my writing here. I am very grateful for each and every one of you and thank you for reading my texts. I will do my best to continue writing and publish texts and other material in order to keep you interested.

However, what I write will still be whatever I feel like writing and that way it will as always reflect my personality. I will not ever attempt to adjust my style in order to attract more readers or try to figure out what will please the most readers.

Since people have found their way here and continued to follow my blog without me trying to please anyone, I think it would be stupid to start now. I will continue being me. That’s a promise.

 

 

Face

Wednesday words

Yes it’s me again. I can’t help it. I have to write. What about, I don’t know. Something or other. I’ve done a lot of writing today. Also did a lot of laundry and some other chores and helped my mother do some shopping and did look for some jobs but without much luck. However, I am not giving up. Someday I’m going to get out of this situation I’m in. Someday I will get myself out of this. Somehow. I’m working on it.

I’m not spending much time at the chatrooms lately. I have started watching movies and TV series instead. One can say I’m taking a break from the cam/chat scene. Been a lot of it for many years now and I think I should take it easy for some time. See if I can find some other things to do in my spare time. Not that I don’t have fun when I chat but I still like to rest now and then and in the past I used to be at more than one place and for the past two years I’ve only been at one place and it starts to get a bit too much.  Also I’ve lost track of many nice people I used to chat to from time to time. Some have left the business some are just gone anyway and others are not around a lot but I still see them when they are. Things change and people change and that’s just how it is.

Today has been a regular Wednesday. Nothing much to say about it. Been watching TV this evening and some episodes of NYPD Blue on dvd. I wonder why I didn’t watch that show while it was new. I guess I never got into it as much as I did Hill Street Blues and L.A. Law but now I find it interesting enough to watch. I’m probably a bit behind the times when it comes to TV shows.

Well I will watch some more and then get to sleep. Another day at the office tomorrow.

Peace.

Saturday and Sunday report

Hello,

I haven’t forgotten to write about my weekend. Just didn’t feel like writing yesterday. I spent most of my Sunday daydreaming to be honest. Daydreaming of you again.

Anyway my Saturday evening was nice and the night was even nicer. I was really happy to see you and chat again. It had been a long time and I noticed I was not as good as I used to be. My typing was slow and I didn’t know what to say and I felt shy but I enjoyed very much to hang out and just be there. I know why I have such trouble to chat, I haven’t done it much for a long time and seem to have lost the speed I used to have. When I was at my best I used to be fast to respond and always know what to say and also able to be funny.  Now I’m not much fun but I try to find my way back to where I used to be.

Went to sleep around 5:00 am and slept to about 11:30 am Sunday. Got up, had a bit of breakfast, read the paper and then went for a drive to fill up some gas and buy some stuff for the car. Light rain and a very dull and cloudy afternoon but driving was fun.  After having rice and chicken  for dinner I spent my evening relaxing, listening to music, tweeting and tumblr-ing. Later I had a shower.

Went to sleep at around midnight.

HGC

Just for fun I took the quiz I found at this blog. My result was pretty good: 93 points. This made me into a HGC (Holy grail customer) which made me smile. I think I ought have learned something from 10 years spent at various camsites. So if you are a regular at camsites you ought to take this quiz too and find out where you stand.

Weekend spent

Hey it’s me again! Your friendly morale officer Moonshine Glowsinthedark. I’m here to tell you how I spent my weekend.

Saturday & Sunday.

1. Went to sleep at 4 am or something, Saturday morning. Little hard to remember as I was not awake. 2. Got up again at some point. 3. Checked Twitter, Tumblr & email. 4. Checked the cam site MFC. 5. Listened to music. 6. Didn’t have breakfast but started eating chocolate. 7. Must have watched pictures and/or videos because I seem to remember having masturbated at some point during the day. 8. Started to feel ill or sick in the early afternoon. 9. Went to have a nap while getting dinner ready or after or before, not really sure. 10. Slept a bit after dinner too. Felt better. 11. Got back to reading tweets and listening to music. 12. Was at MFC for a bit looking around. 18. Checked Tumblr and re-blogged a lot of stuff. 19. Fell asleep sitting at computer. 20. Woke up and was awake a  while. 21 Decided to sleep in bed and went to bed. Got up again around midnight and checked the usual stuff.  22. Felt sleepy around 3 am and went back to sleep. 23. Woke up again at 8 am. Got up. 24. Checked Twitter. Checked Tumblr and checked MFC. 25. Listened to music through Spotify and decided to write a blog post. 26. Started writing but stopped after a few sentences to watch a video. 27. Daydreamed a while. 28. Watched video again  while beginning to masturbate. 29. Interrupted by uncle coming to visit. 30. Helped uncle to check the car to prepare for inspection tomorrow morning. 31. Back at computer. Checked Twitter & Tumblr. 32. Decided to write this blog post. 33. Wrote this blog post. 34. Published this blog post. 35. Will masturbate again since I didn’t get to finish before. 36. Later I will try to have a quick shower and wash my hair even though the water is not really warm enough. Must have that fixed very soon. 37. Rest of evening don’t know what I’ll do but probably much of the same as the other evening. 38. Go to sleep at a decent hour.

Peace.

Easter Sunday 2011

Hi, readers!

Welcome to another post here at my blog SIC! I am MoonieZ and I’ll be your host.

First, let me just warn you that there is no limit to the amount of words you’ll encounter during your visit here. Words will most likely be formed into sentences that makes sense but they may also make no sense at all.

This is Easter Sunday in the year of our Lord 2011. Last night I watched a movie – Young Winston – about the life of the young Winston Churchill. It was better than expected but not great. I rated it two stars out of five due to it having a tendency to repeat itself in a bit of a mechanical manner . However Robert Shaw‘s performance as Churchill’s father was fantastic.

I did have some chocolate candy and some chips and dip in the evening but it mostly made me feel sick. I don’t enjoy that stuff as much as I used to. These days I prefer some icecream or some nice cheese or a sandwich for a snack. I guess I’m getting older. What a surprise.

This Sunday I’m relaxing and thinking of going outside to have some sun. Or I should be working on my writing project. Haven’t decided. Need to do some cleaning up around here as well. Always need to do chores but not often feel like doing them.

Twitter friends have been stirred by some kind of stalker incident. My two cents on that subject is the same as always: use caution.

I’ve never felt the need to find out everything about anyone I know or ever have known through the internet. I have enjoyed my friendships and been happy with whatever my friends have been wanting to share with me. A little or a lot, makes no difference. I’ve shared a little of myself and my life with some and a lot with a select few. Never met anyone in real life and never asked or suggested to meet anyone for any reason whatsoever. Have been asked once or twice to meet up but declined. In one case I did regret later  not meeting up and if the suggestion was made again I might accept it in that case. On the other hand I would never know for sure who I am going to meet just as the other person can’t be 100% sure of who I am. That’s always the risk. However, there are risks involved when meeting strangers in real life situations as well. You can never be sure who it is you are dealing with. Never 100%. However you can always trust your instincts and that’s what I do. So far I haven’t felt unsafe or scared about anyone I’ve befriended online but I never know what might happen in the future. And believe me. I would be scared if someone showed up on my doorstep uninvited and unexpected saying “Hi, I’m so and so from the site so and so” and I would most likely not let them in or want to have any longer conversation at that point. Maybe if it was out in a public place it happened I might spend a minute or two saying hi to them but I would wonder why they decided to approach me in real life if there had been no previous talk about it from either side. To take part in meet and greet gatherings of people one knows from the internet is a different matter. Sometimes I think it could be fun to meet a group of friends from the online world out in a public place just to share a good time and see what they are like in real life. But I don’t like surprise meetings on my doorsteep anymore than anyone else. My home is my castle.

Ok, back to the fun stuff. Whatever that is.  I’ve lost track of what I was going to type so I’ll just end this post right here.

Internet fantasy

Yes, I’ve heard it a lot so I thought I’d write about it.

How the Internet is just one huge fantasy playground for children of all ages – even adult ones. How one should always assume people aren’t like themselves when they’re online. They’re all pretending, playing, acting, and nobody is being their real everyday self. Let me tell you this: that’s a lot of bullshit. Most people are the same as they would be out in the street or anywhere else you might run into them. Sure some might be acting differently in some situations  but my experience is that most people aren’t online acting or pretending to be something they’re not.

I have never pretended to be anybody else than the real person I am. Only difference is that Internet has provided me a chance to meet people and make friends without my shyness getting so much in the way as it usually has in the so called “real life” world. But just because I find it easier to speak and interact when I’m online does not change who I am or the way I look or anything else.

I’m sure there are people who make a living pretending and acting and see the online world as pure fantasy playground. That’s fine for them – just don’t bother me with it. I know who I am and what I am and I am sure of who my friends are both the ones online and the ones offline. Somebody will probably claim I’m wrong but it won’t matter.  Live and let live instead.  As long as we’re all having fun and are happy what does it matter how we perceive the internet world ? I see real people behind nicknames and cam images, who do you see ?

IRL

Well what about it?

Simple. You want it to happen, it might or it might not. You don’t want it to happen. It still might. Or not. People are not machines. What will happen when people interact can’t always be predicted. What evolves through the interaction online is impossible to always control and keep in a certain place.  Sure, some call it all a fantasy. Fine. Let them have it their way. I’ll be having it my way. I’ve had it my way. I’ve seen how things develop beyond any fantasy and turning into something real without anyone really pushing it to happen. People have thoughts, people have feelings. Sometimes these don’t follow the rules you’ve made up in advance. Sometimes things happen that weren’t scripted. What shall we all do about that ? Throw a fit, call the cops and throw it all away? Or, should we as the imperfect beings we all are, bills to pay or not, working for a living or not, simply embrace that fact that sometimes life takes a turn nobody saw coming and something turned into something real.  I’ve seen it happen, I’ve lived it. I didn’t think it even could but it did and it has given me a friend for life. So, before taking all these grand stands on the matter of what is what in this digital age of global interaction – remember we’re all still humans first and we’re still social and emotional animals who do not always act within reason or follow our own rules. Wouldn’t it be terrible if we all stopped being human in order to uphold borders we’ve only set in our own minds? I don’t know – I’d be very unhappy with that kind of life.  Ok. I’m done.

At least I know where I fit in and where I don’t. Some forums are not for my kind – and that’s fine. I’ll return to being a lurker again rather than having my head bitten off whenever I voice an opinion different than that of the majority.

Some sites aren’t for this but for that you all say as if you know what’s in every human heart  and mind. You don’t know, you can’t know, nobody can. You sound as if you do though, and that’s ok. You have a right to your opinions and I have a right to mine.

Peace out !

Saturday evening

Hello!

Nothing new to report. Had another long night and day in a chatroom. Was fun. But I am too tired from lack of sleep. Will have to sleep after writing this post.  I only wish I had something to write but my brain will not cooperate  with me.

Have been shoveling a lot of snow today. Very heavy it was.  Nowhere to put it either.  Street outside is so narrow because of the banks of snow but at least its possible to use the road now. Yesterday it was  nearly impossible.

Still a lot of snow that can’t be cleared because there is nowhere else to put it. I haven’t seen anything like this since the 1980′s.

Enough about snow.