mondays

All posts in the mondays category

Monday is a fine day

Published 05/28/2012 by MoonieZ

Yes, indeed. I wake up. I get ready. I go to the office and I check my Twitter and notice I’m unfollowed and blocked by someone I  recently tweeted to. Find out I’m also unfollowed on Tumblr by the same person. Not sure this has ever happened to me before.

Sure, I’ve been unfollowed before. That happens from time to time. Usually I’m unfollowed by people I don’t know who suddenly start following me on Twitter and/or Tumblr and then stop after some time. I suspect the reason to be that I don’t follow back or that I don’t tweet them or that they find they don’t like my tweets or whatever.

When someone I know unfollows me, it’s a bit different. So far it hasn’t happened more than a few times and both times by the same person. First time I was given a reason, this time it seems I didn’t get a reason for being both unfollowed and blocked so I guess all that remains for me is to move on.

I could of course dwell on this and ponder the reasons this person might have but that wouldn’t be very constructive as it would only be speculation and not fact. So, I leave this matter as it stands and move on.

Generally speaking I do know that my tweeting and tumblr-ing can’t please everyone all the time and it’s not my goal to please anyone. My reason for using Twitter and Tumblr is to express myself and interact with others.  I have unfollowed people too but most of the time I do it after being unfollowed by them. I also block accounts sometimes but only if I strongly suspect them to be fake/spammers and such.

Ok, enough of this stuff.

Today I hope I will do some productive writing and other work and also have a fine day in as many ways as possible.

One more Monday

Published 05/21/2012 by MoonieZ

Hey, I’m sorry. I have a cold. This weekend I haven’t been feeling too good but I have endured. Sure, I know how the saying goes that guys always sound like they are really ill when they are in fact only slightly ill. But, I will not sound like I’m about to die from this cold. I promise I am going to be well enough soon enough. Just wanted to tell you about the facts of the matter.

People who are fond of intrigue and strategy must be very pleased to follow the second season of Game of Thrones. For the rest of us, its become a tad boring to follow all the power games and backstabbing going on. I long for some epic battles and acts of heroism and bravery, where the scoundrels are punished and the righteous are rewarded.

Go find another series to follow? Yes, perhaps, but I’m allowed to dream, am I not? Anyway, I sense great things will happen if the series will continue. For now I follow along and try not to get lost among the many games being played.

Life 2.0

Published 03/19/2012 by MoonieZ

Ok, yesterday I was not very happy. My update was rather depressing to read. I don’t feel much different today but I still would like to add that I am not giving up. Just trying to get myself to see the reality of things instead how I wish it to be. Sometimes I trap myself in false ideas of what is and what will be. They trip me up and I fall. Then I get up – eventually – and often start the same process over again instead of actually learning something. Learning to open my eyes.

Life goes on. That’s all I really know for sure.

Today is my mother’s 88th birthday so I will be somewhat busy.  However, I don’t mind. Being busy helps me to not think too much about things I can’t change.  I usually think too much about things I can’t change,  but lately I try to keep myself busy with other matters. I also want to use my energy to create something instead of  just thinking.

Looking forward to summer even if the weather today is rather bad. Some snow in the air and really strong cold winds.

Peace.

A good idea

Published 02/27/2012 by MoonieZ

Earlier today I had a good idea for a post. When I got home I had forgotten most  of it. Maybe I’ll write it another day. However, the book I’m currently reading gives me a lot of new ideas of things to write. In a way they’re not really new, just things I remember and recognize about myself and my life when I read about the life of someone else. Certain aspects of the life and personality of Leif  G W Persson are similar to my own experiences and personal traits. It’s not more complicated than that.

Today was a cold and rather bad day. Mostly. Started out with delayed commuter trains and lots of pain from my kidney stones. After getting back home in the early evening I finally started to feel a bit better. Now I only hope tomorrow will  not be as bad as today.

 

All in my head?

Published 02/20/2012 by MoonieZ

It’s all in my head. I didn’t put it there. Yes, you did. Ok, I did. But I don’t want it there. This thought, this feeling of breaking into pieces of insignificance. I’m a little mixed up, I guess. Not sure what to do, not sure how to think and not sure what I feel. Trying to get myself in line. Straighten myself out. Stop making a chicken farm out of a feather. Stop the thoughts from running away with my sense. Some moments I wish I could let go and just panic for a while. Then I snap back to reality and tell myself I’m such a fool and I need a good smack across the face. I would bang my head through the wall if I could be sure it helps. I’d do anything if I only knew it would help. But since I’ve got no real idea what the problem is I can’t figure out a way to solve it. Of course deep down the problem is in my head. Should I try to lose my head and get a new one? I don’t know. I haven’t got a clue. Only thing I know is that I want to think about other things and feel good. But I can’t.

I know it’s stupid to always do this but it would be even more foolish to deny the way it is. So today is not a good day in the life of MoonieZ. However, I am not asking for pity. All I’m doing is telling it like it is.

I would like to focus all my energy on a friend being ill instead of all this stupidity my mind keeps picking up to throw at me.

Words in a row

Published 12/05/2011 by MoonieZ

Hey, hi, hello, how’s the world been treating you?

I have to say I’m rather tired today. I slept rather well but woke up a bit early and couldn’t go back to sleep. Tweeted some while still half awake and then somehow got up.  Checked my Tumblr dashboard and reblogged a lot of stuff as usual. Too much being posted there for me to keep up with. But I like to look through it everyday anyway.  Always find some stuff worth looking at or reading. Sometimes fun and sometimes serious.  Somewhere in the middle of this I remember watching a video and masturbating but I could be mistaken as I wasn’t really all awake yet. Then I got ready, dressed, washed and brushed, drank some water to keep my kidney stones at bay through the morning rush hour commuting on buses and trains and went out the door towards the bus stop.

I know I ought to eat some breakfast but 1) I’m actually poor 2) I feel sick if I eat right after waking up so I skip breakfast and eat nothing. I drink water and sometimes I bring some lunch to the office but not always. Far from it. Then when I get home in the early evening I have dinner which is almost always a cooked hot meal. Later in the evening I may sometimes have a snack, a sandwich or some fruit depending on what I have around and what I feel like eating.

The bus was on time, I made it to the train station on time and the commuter train was on time too. Not crowded, I got a good seat close to the doors. I looked out the windows at the frosty landscape rushing by outside and thought about a tweet I had read earlier while still in bed and only barely awake.Something about the word ‘frosty’ had caught my attention.

I arrived at the station where I change trains and found out the other train was delayed. Not much only enough to make me pace around the platform for a few minutes while trying to keep warm. When the train arrived it was not crowded and I got a seat close to the doors again. I looked out the window and noticed I passed by the road leading to my first place of work – a small grocery store in a  suburb.

While I thought about how it had been to work there and the people I had worked with a colleague from the office came walking down the aisle of the train and sat down in the seat opposite.  Soon we started discussing the weather, global warming and climate change.

I said that I’m not sure the changes are due to human activity even though that’s what science claims is true. I have a hard time accepting a few hundred years of industrialism could really affect the Earth this much. My idea is that the climate might change anyway as it has done in the past going from warm to cold and then back to warm again.  Who knows. The Earth has been around a long time and I’m sure it will still be around long after all humans are gone. However this is just what I think and I might be all wrong.

Walking from the station to the office the discussion continued until we had arrived inside.

I went to my room and switched on the computer, set up my stuff, set my phone to charge and eventually started writing and thinking – which means working on my project. Looked out the window at the lake down below and then at the sky beginning to clear. Looked at Twitter, looked at Tumblr and started thinking about updating this blog.

Talked to the supervisor and continued working. Opened Spotify and listened to some new songs on a friend’s playlist while writing some texts for this blog and also one for my project.  Uploaded some photos to the blog and tried to write some more without much success.

Somehow I wasn’t writing what I really wanted and what I wanted I couldn’t write at that moment. Or at any other moment. I have a lot of trouble writing certain things. The thoughts are there and the feelings are there but the words aren’t there. Just refuse to come forward. I’m probably afraid to put it in writing, afraid of the fool I’ll appear to be – mostly to myself. What the world thinks is beyond my control anyway. So I didn’t write it. Instead I wrote about other things for my project, read a lot of news and articles about things I might use for my project and also tweeted and looked at Tumblr now and then. All of this made the day pass by quickly soon enough it was time to pack up and go home, which I did. Got on the first bus and had a terrible pain in my back from the kidney stones as I had neglected to drink enough water during the day.

For most of the hour-long ride home by three different buses I was in pain. So the first thing I did when I got home was to drink a lot of water and relax. Then I had dinner. Fish and potatoes. It was ok but not as good as I expected given the price of the fish had been rather high. After dinner I checked email, tweets, tweeted and checked and reblogged on Tumblr for a while. Also started to listen to music on Spotify and thought about writing some more for this blog as I was not happy with what I had posted so far today.  Had some gingerbread hearts and some water and started to write. And here I am now. Still writing this text. Maybe it’s time to stop now. Not much more to add.  At least not that I can think of. There’ll probably be more tomorrow, I can feel my nostalgic mode getting ready to possess me so I might be going back to the glory of the past days again in another post.

Peace.

Stopped living

Published 12/05/2011 by MoonieZ

When did I stop living?

Sometimes I wonder. Sometimes I try to recall the moment when I stopped. When it all stopped. When life went from living to being alive. Was it last year? The year before? Was it a decade ago or just recently? Does it matter how long ago it was? Does it matter if its true or not? Does it matter that I write this down? What’s the matter with me? What matters? I don’t know. I’m only sure of how I feel at this very moment. I feel sad and blue and I have no reason for feeling this way but I still do.

Blame it on Monday.

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