Type headline here

Hello there, have you missed me?

Not yet? Ok, I’ll go away a bit longer next time and see if that helps. Now I’m back and as usual I have no idea what to type here so I will make it up as I go. Most of the time that means the post will be a ramble and end without any warning. So, with all that out of the way – what shall we talk about?

Did anything happen today worth mentioning?  Two things I can think of right away.

1) I masturbated before brushing my teeth this morning. I did have clothes on though. Actually it was yesterday morning as I’m typing this past midnight on Friday evening or rather Saturday morning. For you Americans it will still be Friday for a few hours so don’t worry about it unless you’ll be reading this tomorrow when it will be Saturday for you lot too.

2) Can’t remember. Wait, now I remember. I had to use public transportation today to get to and from the office. In the morning it wasn’t so bad but in the afternoon it was a piece of living hell. Warm, humid, crowded and sweaty. On top of that the teen slacker generation.

I heard them talking on the bus while on the way home. One guy was proud of not having studied for a test at school so he could leave early and have the day off. Instead of being in school he had been skateboarding. Another guy was talking about how he spent his allowance in three days and then told his parents his account was empty. What the parents did? Gave him more money. The third guy was happy to have switched schools because at the new school he had gotten a MacBook that he would get to buy later at a low cost. His friend at another school had “only” gotten an iPad. I was thinking of all the tax money going to waste on these teenage students by providing them with fancy hardware at school when they don’t seem to bother learning anything.

Ok, enough grumpy old man for today.

At the office I wrote some texts or edited some I had written. My serious blog project over there is making progress but my job search isn’t. However, soon it will be summer and the job market will be a bit slow so I don’t expect any miracles. All I do is keep trying.

Had a very healthy fish dinner but proceeded to spoil that by eating Pringles chips and sour cream dip. Then I had a few cookies and some juice. All of this while watching ice hockey on TV.  Sweden lost a very violent game against Russia.

For those of you who follow my tweets not much of the information in this post is new, but you can’t expect me to create exclusive content for all my channels. Or is that what you expect me to do?

Later in the evening I begun to watch Get The Gringo starring Mel Gibson, but soon stopped in order to write this instead. After this I might end up in a chat room somewhere.

Now I have reached the end. Not bad for not knowing what to type.

Peace.

Something new?

I’ve been thinking. Thinking. Should I update or not? Should I really put my ass on the line again, just for the satisfaction of reading my words on this blog once more? Sometimes, I can’t decide if it’s worth it or not. Sometimes I think I have nothing more to say about anything to anyone at all.

It was like that the other night. I was in a chat room having a nice chat with my beautiful friend, laughing and having a good time, when suddenly it hit me: I have no idea what more to say, no idea at all. Of course I didn’t stop typing just because I didn’t know what more to say. Instead I kept on typing and somehow words came out that made some kind of sense, had a meaning and kept the convo going. I was happy to have gotten through without falling silent.

The next day I started thinking about writing an update for this blog. I had some ideas, I even had one text all worked out in the back of my head but when I thought about writing it I got second thoughts and cold feet and suddenly didn’t feel like writing it. Or anything else.

The day after was the same. The thought came: it’s time to update and then the next thought was: I don’t want to. Not now, not today. I do have ideas but I don’t feel like sharing them anymore.  So I did something else. Looked at Tumblr dashboard, read tweets and listened to music. Also watched some sort of fancy Danish porn movie: All About Anna but without much interest. After some more thinking I decided to go to sleep. Still without updating.

I woke up this morning and knew that today I would have to update this blog – somehow. The show must go on. That’s just the way it is. Some things will never change.

However, I still feel a lot of resistance even as I’m writing this. A voice in my head tells me to not do this. To not finish it. To not publish it. But, I will publish. Have I done this much writing I will not throw it out, I will publish it no matter what I think. So, this is why this update is the way it is. No secrets, no lies. Only words.

Time for an update

Morning, Wednesday. Nice to see you again. Been a week since last time. How have you been? So and so? Ok. I’ve been mostly rather good. A bit busy, a bit in pain and I’ve had some fun.

At the office I had rather a busy week. Lots of writing to do. Lots of jobs to apply for. Lots of work to do on the blogging project I’m still trying to get going.

Also, I’ve been following the trial against the terrorist in Norway who detonated a bomb killing 8 people in Oslo‘s city center and later shot and killed 69 people (mostly teenagers) at a summer camp on a small island near Oslo on July 22 last year.

A terrible and cruel act of terrorism.

Let’s see, what else have I been up to? Sleeping. Done some of that. Can’t remember how much though. Eating. Yep, done some of that too. Probably not as healthy as I ought to and probably too much at times but hey, I only live once and when I’m dead I’m done so let the good times roll…and rolling is what I’ll be doing if I don’t watch what I eat.

Drinking? Yeah, but nothing containing alcohol. I don’t often drink anything other than water. If I drink anything else its usually juice or Dr Pepper.

What else? I’ve watched Game of Thrones. Just keeps getting better. I wish someone would kill Joffrey, that little sadist annoys me greatly  but  I have a feeling he won’t be punished anytime soon.

Watched some movies. Too many to mention all of them but the best ones have been Toy Story and Monsters, Inc – both produced by Pixar. I have only a few more to watch before having seen all of them.

I have also been listening to music. Usually on Spotify. There’s really no need for any other source. At least not for me. I keep finding stuff I didn’t know of as well as stuff i like that I haven’t listened to for some years. Now that Spotify links are possible to embed into Tumblr and WordPress it has become even better as a source for sharing and discussing music.

Ok, what else. Yes, I have been to some chat rooms to see some people and enjoyed a few fun nights. Been really nice.

The rest of the time I have had some chores to take care of.

I think that’s all there is.

No sex? Nope, no sex. Unless  a few moments of daydreaming in connection with thoughts of a certain someone counts? Maybe. Perhaps. Does it matter? Not really.

Peace.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Hi there…

Yes, I’m still alive. I know I haven’t been writing much here lately. I’ve been too lazy. I haven’t been too busy. I have been doing things but mostly I’ve been sleeping. Well, not only sleeping. I’ve been at the office, I’ve been at home and I’ve been eating too much, gained too much weight,  been feeling a bit down and out and somewhat depressed. Lonely. Confused. Not in tune with anything.

So this weekend I’ve enjoyed some fun times and seen a good friend. Suddenly I feel reborn. Funny how some late night fun can change my mood and my outlook on life. Or at least turn it around for the better. I woke up smiling this afternoon. Haven’t felt like that in too long. Decided to just be in that feeling and not do too much. Of course I had my usual urge to send countless tweets and emails to my good friend to let her know just how good I’m feeling today but then I stopped in my tracks and decided to not do my usual stunts. Instead I’m going to keep myself under control and let my friend have her weekend in peace without my urgency.

So I’ve let my Sunday unfold in about the same manner as most other Sundays. Been reading the morning paper. Had an early dinner. Listened to music ,watched some videos and looked through my Tumblr dashboard. Backed up some files. Cleaned up the hard drive. Listened to more music. Watched some TV, read some news.  Had a shower. Plan to go to sleep early and be ready to start a new week in a good way.

Other notes. My old friend has not answered my last email so I’m guessing I can let that whole thing rest and remain a fond memory.

I’ve been looking for a direction but haven’t really found one. I have plans and ideas but I seem to have trouble making them happen, turning them into something real.

Always been a problem.

I don’t want to spend any more time living in my head. I’ll be 45 this year. I have to grow up now. Start to act my age. Only one problem – I find growing up to be a bit boring. I don’t even know what it really means. Once long ago I thought I had grown up. I acted like someone a lot older than my actual age. Then I lost that somehow. Probably I got scared of life after my father died. Or I started to think of living as pointless, a long wait for the end that no one can escape. So – maybe I should set out to find God? Not my cup of tea, old boy. I believe in humanity and in human beings and that’s all the faith I need.

Been watching lots of movies the past weeks. Too many to mention. Most of them were good entertainment. Some were a bit boring. Some I haven’t been able to finish. Like Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. I hope to finish watching during the coming week.

Once more I’ve managed to write a post with no real point to it and going all over the map in terms of topics.  That’s how my mind works when I set it free.

Hope it hasn’t been a waste of your time to read this.

Peace.

Harry Potter – the movies

Yes, I’ve watched all of them recently. At first I tried to read the books but I just couldn’t be patient enough to read them in digital format. So, I decided to cheat and watch the movies instead.

My impression of them is that they are all well made  and entertaining. Perhaps a bit slow here and there and some parts are repeated a bit too many times. The actors are all great and it’s been fun to see so many famous British actors perform throughout these movies.

The story is original in some aspects but far from it in many others. It is obvious how the author has collected and incorporated parts and pieces in terms of creatures, character traits, themes, plot elements and such  from lots of myths, fairy tales and other works such as novels and movies. I trace pieces of C S Lewis Narnia books, Tolkien‘s Lord of The Rings trilogy and George Lucas Star Wars-movies to just name a few of the more obvious sources of inspiration.

The story started out fairly light and humourous and became darker towards the end. I enjoyed the first movies the most and had a lot of trouble keeping my interest during the last two or three movies.

Also it became clear early on where the whole story would lead and at times I wished there had been a few more twists to make it less obvious.

Still, I’m glad to have seen them all and finally have some idea of what they’re all about. I enjoyed watching all the movies and maybe I will watch them again some day. Or try to make my way through reading all the books.

Christmas Day 2011

Woke up late on Christmas day after a good night’s sleep. I had the good fortune of going to bed with a smile on my face and a good feeling after a mostly not very happy Christmas eve. Last thing I did before going to sleep was to spend a little time online in a chatroom of a friend. This managed to change my mood for the better and listening to a Christmas story also helped.

After breakfast which was more like lunch I spent my Christmas day in a relaxed manner. While it was still daylight I went for a drive around the neighbourhood and got some groceries. Then I watched some movies – Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Black Swan and Step Brothers. I also started to read the book I got from my brother for Christmas.

In the afternoon I sent a text message to a friend I had not had any news from for at least 6 months. It was only a Christmas greeting and I didn’t expect any reply. However a few hours later I got a reply – a Christmas greeting. This made me smile. Then I thought about sending another message to find out how things are going but I didn’t. Not sure if I should or not. Sometimes it might be better to hold off.

Late in the evening a heavy storm swept  across the countryside. Power went out during the night and most of the following day. Trees fell across the roads, on cars and buildings.
Spent most of my Monday by the window to get enough light to read and heated some food over the fire in the fireplace downstairs. When darkness started to fall, the power came back on and I decided to update my blog.

Will probably spend my evening reading, watching movies and listening to music.

Peace.

 

What I did

Image via Wikipedia

Friday. I was glad to get out of the office and on my way home before the worst of the rain and bad weather hit. Had some bad luck with the buses but at last I was at home. Had a homemade hamburger for dinner and later in the evening enjoyed a nice slice of pizza. Also had some other items lined up for late night snacks. Some bread, Italian salami and mozzarella cheese and a big bottle of Dr Pepper.

However late in the evening I watched a movie  - The Whistleblower – that nearly made me sick. Don’t get me wrong, it was a very good movie about a very serious and real subject – human trafficking – but some scenes made me almost sick with sadness and horror. The cruelty and violence the victims of trafficking – women and young girls –  suffer in this movie at the hands of the men who buy, sell and use them as slaves made me feel ashamed of being a man even though I would never be able to be a part of anything like that.

Surprisingly I managed to sleep when I went to sleep and I woke up rested on Saturday morning.

After breakfast and reading the paper I didn’t do very much. Looked at Twitter and Tumblr, listened to music and spent some time daydreaming. Had some grilled salmon and fried sliced potatoes for dinner.  Some pain from kidney stones made me go to bed for an hour.

Later, in the evening, I went  by bus and train to do some grocery shopping.

Spent the rest of the evening watching a movie - Sahara -  with James Belushi as the main character.  It was a war movie but it felt more like a western. Entertaining and thrilling.

Slept well  and long and woke up after eleven on Sunday morning. Got up and read all of  the morning paper at breakfast. Had a ham sandwich for breakfast.

Then a bit later I went out to test if the car would start as it hadn’t been started for a long time. It started on the first try.

After reblogging and looking at my Tumblr dashboard I decided to write something for my blog and this is it. I admit it’s not much news or very interesting but at least it’s another update.

The rest of this Sunday afternoon and evening I will probably spend the same way as most Sunday evenings. Reading, listening to music and/or watching a movie.  Will have a shower and maybe wash my hair too. Haven’t decided yet.

Tomorrow is a new day at the office. New supervisors starting. Will be interesting. Sort of.

Peace.

The Big Lebowski

Watched The Big Lebowski this weekend. This is how the DVD packaging looks like for the 2-disc 10th Anniversary Collector’s Edition. It was fun to watch this movie again.

Sunday sitrep

Weather has been bad all day. Rainy and windy. But the real storms are passing to the north and to the south of my location so not getting too much of them here.  Still not the kind of weather I care to go out in. Still I had to go out early this morning to mail a letter. It was not too bad to drive by the mail box but for the rest of the day I stayed indoors.

I found The Hurt Locker  on dvd at a bargain price at the local superstore and bought it along with some groceries. Then spent the day watching the movie. It was good but not as great as I expected. Still good to have seen it since I’ve seen all other movies directed by Kathryn Bigelow.

My brother stopped by for some coffee in the afternoon.

I had some leftover chicken and potatoes for dinner. Then I had a shower to wash my hair. I really ought to get a haircut soon. After the shower I started watching more episodes from season 4 of NYPD Blue.

As soon as my hair is dry enough I will probably go to sleep as I have to get up early tomorrow to go to the office.

Wednesday words

Yes it’s me again. I can’t help it. I have to write. What about, I don’t know. Something or other. I’ve done a lot of writing today. Also did a lot of laundry and some other chores and helped my mother do some shopping and did look for some jobs but without much luck. However, I am not giving up. Someday I’m going to get out of this situation I’m in. Someday I will get myself out of this. Somehow. I’m working on it.

I’m not spending much time at the chatrooms lately. I have started watching movies and TV series instead. One can say I’m taking a break from the cam/chat scene. Been a lot of it for many years now and I think I should take it easy for some time. See if I can find some other things to do in my spare time. Not that I don’t have fun when I chat but I still like to rest now and then and in the past I used to be at more than one place and for the past two years I’ve only been at one place and it starts to get a bit too much.  Also I’ve lost track of many nice people I used to chat to from time to time. Some have left the business some are just gone anyway and others are not around a lot but I still see them when they are. Things change and people change and that’s just how it is.

Today has been a regular Wednesday. Nothing much to say about it. Been watching TV this evening and some episodes of NYPD Blue on dvd. I wonder why I didn’t watch that show while it was new. I guess I never got into it as much as I did Hill Street Blues and L.A. Law but now I find it interesting enough to watch. I’m probably a bit behind the times when it comes to TV shows.

Well I will watch some more and then get to sleep. Another day at the office tomorrow.

Peace.