Strange things happen

when you least expect them to. This weekend something strange happened. I visited a website I hadn’t been at for a long time and there I saw a friend I hadn’t seen for a long time and thought I would never see again. I had given up all hope and made my peace with it all and then this happens when I think I am finally through it all and past the feeling of loss and sorrow. Well maybe there is some meaning to this, or maybe it is just a happy coincidence. However I am happy but also a bit nervous. Do I really want to continue or not ? Those thoughts were there at first. I felt like it would be easier to just preserve the memory of what had been then to continue and start again. Finally I did decide to continue. After all this friendship means something to me  – and I was very happy with it and very sad when it ended without warning two months ago when my friend disappeared suddenly.  Now I know why and feel much better about it all. Still have the memory of feeling  surprise and loss though. Wish it won’t happen again. And the feeling of guilt for doubting the honesty of my friend. Now I know better and will not doubt again. At least this time it didn’t turn out like the experience from last year. I am glad that it didn’t.